i will not crack under the pressure!

day 108:
hola mi bloggitas & bloggitos!

yeah i know i have been m.i.a for the past couple of days which is unlike me – we all know i love to gab on my blog.
but…
my gorgeous 2 ½ year old daughter has been extra demanding this week?

(i know you cannot believe it looking @ this adorable face huh?)
i dunno if it’s a 2 year old thing?
a girl thing?
or a it’s-almost-xmas-and-i-am-about-to-burst-with-excitement thing?
i am going with a combo of all three!
needless to say – miss thang is not having any of my time being spent on other frivalous things like cooking, laundry, bathing & blogging when i should be devoting my attention all to her all of the time.
i wish i were joking…
she freaked out last night because i left the room to go cook dinner & again when i went to pee without her.
we are officially conjoined twins now.
(she is happy doing crafts & she did NOT get that from me!)
i get it – i spend a lot of time with her & we are very close & she always wants to be doing what i am doing – but never to the point of FREAKING out like a maniac?
and it makes me feel bad.
she is so upset & all she wants is to be with me -- so i cave.
all fine & well – but it been really hard trying to do a day’s worth of stuff all in the evening after she goes to bed – on top of trying to get my workouts in. – and getting the sleep i need because she will be up @ 5-6am ready to do it all over again!
sighhhh…
when they say being a stay-at-home-parent is the hardest job in the world – they don’t lie! going to work 40 hours a week was a breeze compared to this.
i can do this… i can do this…
because i wouldn’t have it any other way & we have made many sacrifices so i could stay at home & be with her.
AND she wouldn’t be the vibrantly brilliant child that she is if i hadn’t!
(nothing against moms who work – don’t bombard my email or comment form with attitude – i worked my ass off when my boys were little because i had to & they turned out wonderful as well… )

so the countdown to the big day (xmas) is on!
(I ♥ nike & a nike santa rules!)
are ya’ll ready?
i have one gift card to buy, some grocery shopping & all of my wrappin’ left to do – but other than that i am good to go.
at this point – anything i don’t get done wasn’t meant to be!

tomorrow night i have a yule party to attend that one of the women in my goddess group is hosting. our little group has been on hiatus through the holidays so it will be awesome to see my goddesses!
i suspect the cocktails will be flowing along with a bevy of munchie party-type foods – one of my many weaknesses i might add.
i am such a sucker for chips & dip & finger foods!
but i have a plan – no alcohol & i am bringing veggies & hummus -- & i am NOT veering from the plan.
it will be the first time ever that i have attended a party/event & not had at least one glass of wine. but one leads to two which leads to three which leads to a taco bell detour on the way home & we will not be going that route this year!
i have weigh-in on friday & i am not fucking it up the night before!

so a lot going on & it is effecting my eating. well not so much my actual eating -- i have been good but tempted more than usual – it could be the beginning stages of pms as well. we went out to eat twice this week too – which i am sorry – is just hard.
i ate a little more than usual but at least my choices were good.
PLUS i am working out daily & i am still eating vegan & going strong! so i don’t feel overly bad about a little over-indulgence.

BUT I WILL NOT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE!

i am trying to come up with new & unusual ways to stay on track because my motto through the new year is this…
and nothing will detour me.
not xmas…
not a clingy toddler (bless her little heart)…
not xmas gatherings with tons of booze & goodies to eat…
and certainly not pms!
what are your plans of survival for xmas?
are ya winging it & hoping for the best?
gotta plan to stay on track?
or just enjoying the day without a care in the world?
it is just one day after all…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

broken

day: 37

super quickie tonight…

i am exhausted and admittedly sore because jillian michaels has kicked my ass.
my legs hurt…
my arms hurt…
my ass hurts…
hell, i think even my eyeballs hurt.

but i did make it through day 2 and by gawd i am not givin’ up!
i don’t care if i have to bathe in ben gay – my ass will be taking orders from jillian again tomorrow!
(this is me today – i shoulda taken this yesterday – but it is my 30 day shred *before* photo – and man-oh-man do i need some shredding… sigh! and a fuckin' new hairdo too. ohhhh and a brain because i got my shorts on inside out -- heh!)
i gotta huge kick outta how many of you luvies left me a comment yesterday to tell me how much jillian scares the shit outta you… heh!
people either love or are scared pissless of her?

on a totally unrelated note…
i attend a woman’s empowerment group held at my besties metaphysical shop called goddess group. it’s amazeballs in too many ways to get into at this juncture – but tonight we had full moon circle. for those not in the know – it’s a wiccan ceremony by nature (i am not wiccan but i do dabble as a semi-practicing pagan) where we cast a circle, call the corners, and tonight we each evoked (or is it invoked? i always fuck that up!) a goddess of choice. while doing this we place personal items on the altar to charge with the positive energy in the circle.
here is our altar – see that blue book?
yeah, that would be my weight watcher weigh-in record.
any positive energy is good energy and i am not above trying anything and everything to help me on my journey!

off to take some advil and then to bed to rest my broke-ass body!

spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn


(click & vote pretty please with sugar on top)

evoking venus

being of the pagan persuasion and a firm believer in the power of positive thought -- here is a great spell/meditation for weight loss.

obviously it takes more than this -- but anything that could possibly put me in the right frame of mine is a-ok in my book.

weight loss spell - venus evocation
courtesy of starfields

light a yellow candle and recite this prayer:

venus,
goddess of beauty,
goddess of women,
goddess of love,
i evoke your power
to aid me,
to make me strong,
to fill me with your power
to help me in my purpose
to be the best
that i can be.

venus,
goddess of beauty,
goddess of women,
godess of love,
i evoke your power
to heal me,
to cleanse me,
to charge me
with life
and love of life.

venus,
goddess of beauty
goddess of women,
goddess of love,
i call you
into my life
to stand beside me
to protect me
to guide me
towards beauty,
and love.


look into the candle flame and see yourself in the future, of the right age, being happy and alive (which is much more important than "being thin"!).
when you are ready, blow out the candle.
here comes the real magic.
anytime before you eat (and where you can), light a candle to venus before you start.

a lot of people eat a lot of stuff and they don't get fat - it's a mystery, really.
let the power of venus transform your whole eating experience.
when you're done, leave a small morsel as a token offering and blow out the candle.
when you are in a place where you cannot light a candle, imagine one so strongly in your mind that you can nearly see it right there on the table in front of you and act just the same, quietly inside.

should you feel it wearing off after a week or so, do the original full on evocation with the prayer above again to strengthen it even more.

this is very powerful, it really does work and you deserve to be happy, and alive absolutely.

blessed be,
starfields


*** i will definitely be lighting a candle and evoking the beautiful venus***