i will not crack under the pressure!

day 108:
hola mi bloggitas & bloggitos!

yeah i know i have been m.i.a for the past couple of days which is unlike me – we all know i love to gab on my blog.
but…
my gorgeous 2 ½ year old daughter has been extra demanding this week?

(i know you cannot believe it looking @ this adorable face huh?)
i dunno if it’s a 2 year old thing?
a girl thing?
or a it’s-almost-xmas-and-i-am-about-to-burst-with-excitement thing?
i am going with a combo of all three!
needless to say – miss thang is not having any of my time being spent on other frivalous things like cooking, laundry, bathing & blogging when i should be devoting my attention all to her all of the time.
i wish i were joking…
she freaked out last night because i left the room to go cook dinner & again when i went to pee without her.
we are officially conjoined twins now.
(she is happy doing crafts & she did NOT get that from me!)
i get it – i spend a lot of time with her & we are very close & she always wants to be doing what i am doing – but never to the point of FREAKING out like a maniac?
and it makes me feel bad.
she is so upset & all she wants is to be with me -- so i cave.
all fine & well – but it been really hard trying to do a day’s worth of stuff all in the evening after she goes to bed – on top of trying to get my workouts in. – and getting the sleep i need because she will be up @ 5-6am ready to do it all over again!
sighhhh…
when they say being a stay-at-home-parent is the hardest job in the world – they don’t lie! going to work 40 hours a week was a breeze compared to this.
i can do this… i can do this…
because i wouldn’t have it any other way & we have made many sacrifices so i could stay at home & be with her.
AND she wouldn’t be the vibrantly brilliant child that she is if i hadn’t!
(nothing against moms who work – don’t bombard my email or comment form with attitude – i worked my ass off when my boys were little because i had to & they turned out wonderful as well… )

so the countdown to the big day (xmas) is on!
(I ♥ nike & a nike santa rules!)
are ya’ll ready?
i have one gift card to buy, some grocery shopping & all of my wrappin’ left to do – but other than that i am good to go.
at this point – anything i don’t get done wasn’t meant to be!

tomorrow night i have a yule party to attend that one of the women in my goddess group is hosting. our little group has been on hiatus through the holidays so it will be awesome to see my goddesses!
i suspect the cocktails will be flowing along with a bevy of munchie party-type foods – one of my many weaknesses i might add.
i am such a sucker for chips & dip & finger foods!
but i have a plan – no alcohol & i am bringing veggies & hummus -- & i am NOT veering from the plan.
it will be the first time ever that i have attended a party/event & not had at least one glass of wine. but one leads to two which leads to three which leads to a taco bell detour on the way home & we will not be going that route this year!
i have weigh-in on friday & i am not fucking it up the night before!

so a lot going on & it is effecting my eating. well not so much my actual eating -- i have been good but tempted more than usual – it could be the beginning stages of pms as well. we went out to eat twice this week too – which i am sorry – is just hard.
i ate a little more than usual but at least my choices were good.
PLUS i am working out daily & i am still eating vegan & going strong! so i don’t feel overly bad about a little over-indulgence.

BUT I WILL NOT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE!

i am trying to come up with new & unusual ways to stay on track because my motto through the new year is this…
and nothing will detour me.
not xmas…
not a clingy toddler (bless her little heart)…
not xmas gatherings with tons of booze & goodies to eat…
and certainly not pms!
what are your plans of survival for xmas?
are ya winging it & hoping for the best?
gotta plan to stay on track?
or just enjoying the day without a care in the world?
it is just one day after all…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

ramble & rant

day 101:
happy humpity humps blog-o-zone!

so i had this thought of making a big ta-doo about hitting 100 days yesterday – but as you can see – that did not come to pass.
but at any rate – happy 100 days to me!

warning: complete randomness ahead & if i repeat anything i mighta wrote about before – sorry; this time of year makes me loopy as fuck!

speaking of which: i think people are crazier than ever this year – i went out xmas shopping yesterday & came home with the intense need to down a six-pack (i didn’t) & to punch something really hard (didn’t do that either).
i am usually the jolly elf but this year i feel like grumpy mcgrumpis!
so please random assholes out there in the world – steer clear of me with your *my life is way more important than yours so i must cut you off, run you down, & basically be an inconsiderate shit* attitude!
merry xmas!
next…
so i gotta come clean about something…
i am not in love with the shred-it with weights workout.
but jillian i still love you!
(i write my blog as if she is reading it -- heh)

the workout rocks & i am totally loving the kettlebell but i just don’t feel very challenged? not like i did with 30 day shred & ripped in 30…
i believe that if you workout & don’t sweat your balls off – you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. and sadly this workout doesn’t make me sweat my balls off.
i am so disenchanted by the workout that last night i also did level 1 on 30 day shred to compensate for what i feel like is not my usual balls to the wall workouts.

but i am not a quitter – i am currently on level 1 & i think i will try level 2 & see if that is the challenge i need (and crave). and if not i will make a decision where to go from there. i just worry that i am going in the wrong direction with my fitness. i want to continually push myself & i feel like i am regressing?
probably all in my little warped imagination – but i am just being honest about how i feel.
in all seriousness – anyone out there looking for a great strenght/cardio workout @ a moderate level – shred-it with weights is the way to go.
and you don’t need a kettlebell – you can use any light handweight (3-8lbs).
it’s about 25 minutes (warm-up & cool down included) & i think just about anyone can find 25 minutes a day to workout…
just sayin…

moving along…
still going strong in the sweet tooth challenge – although friday is the last day that i committed to. but i am pushing on. i admit there are times when i crave something junkie – but i have held on & made healthier choices.

the misconception about this challenge is that i am restricting myself – not true at all. i eat plenty & snack at least twice a day. i am just making different choices with what i eat.
speaking of choices & eating.
switching back to a full vegan diet has been a breeze. but i feel better about it this time. i know i am ready to committ & it feels right.
i have also made a pledge to be more open & experimental with my vegan diet this time around.
i tried soy milk for the 1st time & i love it.
no really – I LOVE IT! i am not a milk person – never have been – and while i would never drink a glass of soy milk per say – it is amazing in cereal & makes oatmeal taste DIVINE!
i also tried quinoa for the 1st time – LOVE IT TOO! it smells & looks really weird – but oh so yummy. sorta like cous cous but i liked the quinoa better & the health benefits are fabu!

i want my diet to consist of a mixture of different foods & not just be about stir-fried veggies, tofu & brown rice. although i do love that – no one can live on veggies, brown rice & tofu alone.

speaking of vegan – i found this freakin’ awesome blog/site via pinterest that i am totally all over -- beautiful-vegan.com.
loads of information & recipes – even non-vegans would like it!

i warned ya of randomness – so i am totally switching gears here.

i am about fed up with my knees.
i have written about the chronic pain i have had for 20+ years & while since taking off weight & making exercise a daily priority it has gotten overall better – it still hurts. and mainly while i am working out. and it pisses me off.
i am capable of physically doing so much more than my knees (right one in particular) are allowing me to do.
and i am not talking about the muscle pull i had a few weeks back – i am talking about joint pain that lessons my ability to run, jump, squat, & lunge! all things i need to do in order to be in the physical shape i want to be in.
it is sooooo frustrating to know have the strength & endurance to do something that one part of your body is hindering you from doing!

i saw my doctor a month or so ago – she gave me solid advice which helped with the muscle pull (new shoes, epsom salt soaks, stretching, etc.) – but none has helped with the joint pain & i am to the point that i want to address it & make it stop.

i admit fully that i want a quick fix (cortisone shot please!) & to be on my merry way to the gym where i can run, jump, squat & lunge my way through a kickass workout!
so i am adding two cortisone shots on my xmas wishlist this year… heh!
(i say this like i am a doctor & know for sure that will fix what ails me – dontcha love self-diagnosis?)

well i think that about sums it up…
enough rambling & ranting for one day!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta diem!
xxoo
cyn

i be blessed & shit...

day 81:
happy thanksgiving blogdom!
i had a whole *what i am thankful for* sorta post in mind for today – but eh…
i know i am blessed beyond belief – no need to point out the obvious!
but…
i wanted to post some shots of my 15 year old son peyton & i taken this morning before we departed on our 5k walk!
yup – we participated & completed the…
in about 50 minutes – give or take.
even some 39 degree weather could stop us!

the rest of the day has been pretty mellow – just my peeps & some serious turkey carnage!




i tried my hardest not to gobble ‘til i wobbled – i have weigh-in tomorrow morning if ya can even believe that shit.
talk about a glutton for punishment aye?
but…
it’s one weigh-in during one week & it will not define me!

so bring on the pumpkin pie!
and the wine…

I truly hope each & every one of you wonderous peeps had the best day & that it was filled with love, laughter, and giblet gravy as good as my mom makes!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

thanksgiving eve

day 80:
wowies – 80 days?
you don’t say?

bloggy peeps!
happy thanksgiving eve!
in my younger days i would be stoked as this is one of the biggest party nights all year – did ya know that?
back in the day i used to party like a rock star & sadly i can recall one thanksgiving being so hungover that i couldn’t eat dinner & having my mom livid @ me…
heh – that woman deserves the sainthood dealing with my crazy-ass!
no really – she does. i was a force to be reckoned with & wilder than a rooster on crack!
tonight things will be so very different.
i will be chillin’ with the skylar…
my sons will be @ their dad’s for most of the evening…
and brian is working – yeah working until like midnight setting up signage (he is in retail) for all you crazies who need to shop on thanksgiving.
yes, his place of biz is open tomorrow for awhile.
seriously – peeps who shop on holidays need their head’s examined or at least a new hobby!
and you would never catch me out on black friday – i don’t care if they were giving shit away. i have spent enough time in retail myself & bitches be crazy!

tomorrow should be a pretty mellow day – the parade in the morning, dinner around 1ish, i usually take a bunch of family photos to prep for xmas cards, & then the rest of the day will just us being us.
sounds perfect to me!
oh and of course i am still doing this 1st thing in the morning…
and i ♥ thanksgiving – it’s a mellow holiday that requires no hustle & bustle & gift giving. not that i don’t enjoy giving & receiving gifts – but at least there is one holiday out there that they haven’t commericialized the fuck outta!

eating/diet wise – i have a gameplan – portion control, no soda, loading up on veggies, one serving of one dessert.
good plan aye?
but it’s all about the execution & i am curious if i can be steadfast & stick to the plan!?
and if i don’t?
it’s one day & one fuckin’ day doesn’t define me nor will it derail me!
so there thanksgiving!
anywho…
so i am two weeks into ripped in 30 (click the tab above for details).
i start level 3 today & from what i hear & have read – it is pretty intense & level 4 is just a whole other kinda crazy – but let’s not go there just yet.
i am excited about upping my level because i know it will be harder & i enjoy the challenge. i may not do the workout perfectly but i give it a 199%!
i decided to wait until the very end of the challenge to take measurements & photos & i am also tacking on 2 days on week 4 to make it a true 30 day challenge.
so 2 weeks from friday the results will be in!
how is everyone else out there doing on their respective challenges – jillian michaels or otherwise?!?!?!

i got some new challenges starting in the upcoming days/weeks – sweet tooth starts friday & i gotta admit that the junkfood junkie in me is terrified…
happy hump day – go forth & hump!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

alive & kickin'

day: 60
(wow day 60 huh?)
‘ello blogdom!

wow… i cannot believe it has been four days since i ran my trap on here!?!

just super busy with halloween…


(can you tell we ♥ halloween?)



celebrating dumb supper & having a seance tuesday night with friends – which was hella cool…



and then yesterday was my oldest son, hunter’s, 17th birthday…

i cannot believe my oldest baby is seven-freakin-teen!
*sigh*

yeah, really busy in my world this week!
and all of it entailed food (wine, redheaded slut shots, candy, pasta, cupcakes, ice cream, steak) – and i fuckin’ ate way more than i should. i swear i have been eating nonstop since this past saturday @ that b-day party i went to for my bestie’s hubby!
at least i made time to do the 30 day shred daily & am still givin’ it 110% – so yay for that much!
can ya believe that today was day 25 already?!?!?!

but yeah – i am still alive & kickin & happy to be doing so…
it hasn’t been my best week food/diet wise but that is life, right?
no matter what -- birthdays, dinner parties, & holidays are gonna happen; epecially this time of year!
it wasn’t one cupcake, one glass of wine, or one slice of lasagna that got me to this point – it was days upon days of over-indulgence & i do not want to be that gal again who eats without purpose or worry.
and i won’t be!

so i ask…
how is everyone else fairing on what is just the beginning of the *holiday season*?

and on a completely unrelated (well kinda) note:
do you know they already have xmas music playing in walmart along with all the xmas trees, decorations, gift sets, & massive displays?
i think that is a blasted shame.
can we please enjoy one holiday at a time?
and last i knew thanksgiving is nestled in between halloween & xmas!
don’t buy into the hype dear bloggy peeps – they are not trying to get a jump on the holiday spirit – they wanta jump into your wallets for the holiday spending because we are just being lead to believe that no matter what we do – it is never enough or too soon.
and i am pretty sure santa would totally agree with me!
*wink*
(sorry for the rant -- just irritates me how commercialized everything is...)

don’t forget to enter my giveaway -- just 5 days left & only 48 entries so far! even if you entered already you can tweet daily for additional entries!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn