day 121:
howdy ho bloggy world!
so i have kinda been teetering with the idea of new year’s resolutions.
i know they are EVERYWHERE & mine aren’t that unique that i gotta make some ginormous production outta them.
so instead i will make a TO-DO LIST for 2012!
before i lay it on ya – i gotta say something. i feel like i am at an advantage over most peeps out there in the world. i am already living & tackling what is usually my top TO-DO’s!
lose weight
work out more
eat healthier
drink more water.
check. check. check. and check!
yay – that feels pretty fantabulous to be ahead of the game for a change!
so this year i thought i would write a more frivolous list that doesn’t focus on the same old stuff…
here goes…
the chunky goddess TO-DO LIST for 2012!
1. vlog. i have been thinking about it for some time & i think starting soon it will be a regular feature – you lucky ducks get to see my mug & hear me blab all live & shit!
2. experiment with my cooking more. i get in food ruts & can be quite lazy when it comes to cooking for myself. i need to get a little more adventurous so i do not get bored with the foods i am eating. i gotta a bazillion cool recipes pinned on pinterest – bout time i start cookin’ em up!
3. grow an herb garden & not kill it this year!
4. try at least one local vegan restaurant!
5. make it a point to keep in touch with all of my friends – phone calls, emails, whatever. i am such a lame-o friend lately…
6. take more videos. my camera takes beautiful 1080p hd quality movies – what the frig am i waiting for?
7. find a part-time job. i never thought i would still be looking but i am. and no, i in no way regret leaving my job & i may not be looking as hard as i should either…
8. hire a personal trainer to take me to the next level where weight training is concerned! i wanna be ripped – not in a chyna/steroid/horse face sorta way – but i want some definition & peeps to know i am an ass-kick workout fiend!
9. be more spiritual – i am fallen off my path a bit & i am missing that magical feeling.
10. always trust my gut – it has never steered me wrong!
i am late on the resolution/intentions/goals/TO-DO list ball so i won’t ask the obvious – but i will ask what one frivolous thing that has nothing to do with weight loss do you hope to do this year?
peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!
day:118
so this is the dilly – 2011 started out like 2010 which started out like 2009 & so on & so on.
big ambitions & very little motivation.
i can sit here & list a bazillion reasons but ultimately i believe that my inability to be okay with putting myself 1st has been my downfall all along.
no really – hear me out.
this year my life, my health, my sanity, my relationships, & my overall well being were in jeopardy.
i hit a wall with so many things & was left feeling overwhelmed & defeated in just about every aspect of my life!
after years of trying to self-medicate with just about every form (mainly food) possible -- i finally realized that i needed help with my depression & i needed to make that a priority.
i know it’s cliché but admitting ya got issues truly is the 1st step to recovery.
and girlfriend (that be me) be drownin’ in her own shit & shit!
once i got over the depression hurdle that is when i had an epiphany – i cannot be the best mom, partner, friend, daughter, & human being until i am okay with ME. and i cannot be okay with ME until i make ME the top priority in my life over EVERYTHING else.
and I mean EVERYTHING -- kids, spouses, partners, friends, relatives, jobs, faith, commitments – all of it!
all those things you put ahead of yourself no matter what because you believe that is how to show your love & devotion, what is expected of you, makes you a better person, & we (especially women) are taught that being selfish about ourselves is a bad thing.
and sorry kiddos but doing all of this will NOT EVER lead to true happiness.
life is too effin’ short to be unhappy – so i decided to be happy.
that’s when i kicked it into high gear & made some decisions that changed everything…
i left my job -- the work environment was toxic on so many levels & no amount of money is worth being miserable every single fucking day! could we afford it? helllll to the no! but i also couldn’t afford to loathe something so much that i wanted to punch something or someone hard. really hard!
and i rejoined weight watchers – i decided that i am worth the added expense, time, effort & energy it takes to truly commit to weight loss & getting fit.
just those two vital decisions & how they bettered my world transcended into other bigger/smaller decisions & actions that have made my life increasinly happy!
and when mama’s happy – EVERYONE is happy!
truly.
in 2012 – i plan to keep it rollin’ & continue on my current path. i will never be that girl again – the one who lets life come 1st .
i come 1st no matter what!
and anyone who doesn’t like it can kindly step to the left & fuck off.
peace, love, & toasts to a fuckin’ fabulous 2012!
xxoo
cyn
**** disclaimer – i am in NO WAY telling anyone to run out & quit their job or to do anything drastic for that matter. i am only relaying my life experiences & what changes helped me. and as always i recommend EVERYONE see their doctor before beginning ANY weight loss/diet/exercise regimen!
being of the pagan persuasion and a firm believer in the power of positive thought -- here is a great spell/meditation for weight loss.
obviously it takes more than this -- but anything that could possibly put me in the right frame of mine is a-ok in my book.
weight loss spell - venus evocation
courtesy of starfields
light a yellow candle and recite this prayer:
venus,
goddess of beauty,
goddess of women,
goddess of love,
i evoke your power
to aid me,
to make me strong,
to fill me with your power
to help me in my purpose
to be the best
that i can be.
venus,
goddess of beauty,
goddess of women,
godess of love,
i evoke your power
to heal me,
to cleanse me,
to charge me
with life
and love of life.
venus,
goddess of beauty
goddess of women,
goddess of love,
i call you
into my life
to stand beside me
to protect me
to guide me
towards beauty,
and love.
look into the candle flame and see yourself in the future, of the right age, being happy and alive (which is much more important than "being thin"!).
when you are ready, blow out the candle.
here comes the real magic.
anytime before you eat (and where you can), light a candle to venus before you start.
a lot of people eat a lot of stuff and they don't get fat - it's a mystery, really.
let the power of venus transform your whole eating experience.
when you're done, leave a small morsel as a token offering and blow out the candle.
when you are in a place where you cannot light a candle, imagine one so strongly in your mind that you can nearly see it right there on the table in front of you and act just the same, quietly inside.
should you feel it wearing off after a week or so, do the original full on evocation with the prayer above again to strengthen it even more.
this is very powerful, it really does work and you deserve to be happy, and alive absolutely.
blessed be,
starfields
*** i will definitely be lighting a candle and evoking the beautiful venus***
day 121:
i am late on the resolution/intentions/goals/TO-DO list ball so i won’t ask the obvious – but i will ask what one frivolous thing that has nothing to do with weight loss do you hope to do this year?
