ramble & rant

day 101:
happy humpity humps blog-o-zone!

so i had this thought of making a big ta-doo about hitting 100 days yesterday – but as you can see – that did not come to pass.
but at any rate – happy 100 days to me!

warning: complete randomness ahead & if i repeat anything i mighta wrote about before – sorry; this time of year makes me loopy as fuck!

speaking of which: i think people are crazier than ever this year – i went out xmas shopping yesterday & came home with the intense need to down a six-pack (i didn’t) & to punch something really hard (didn’t do that either).
i am usually the jolly elf but this year i feel like grumpy mcgrumpis!
so please random assholes out there in the world – steer clear of me with your *my life is way more important than yours so i must cut you off, run you down, & basically be an inconsiderate shit* attitude!
merry xmas!
next…
so i gotta come clean about something…
i am not in love with the shred-it with weights workout.
but jillian i still love you!
(i write my blog as if she is reading it -- heh)

the workout rocks & i am totally loving the kettlebell but i just don’t feel very challenged? not like i did with 30 day shred & ripped in 30…
i believe that if you workout & don’t sweat your balls off – you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. and sadly this workout doesn’t make me sweat my balls off.
i am so disenchanted by the workout that last night i also did level 1 on 30 day shred to compensate for what i feel like is not my usual balls to the wall workouts.

but i am not a quitter – i am currently on level 1 & i think i will try level 2 & see if that is the challenge i need (and crave). and if not i will make a decision where to go from there. i just worry that i am going in the wrong direction with my fitness. i want to continually push myself & i feel like i am regressing?
probably all in my little warped imagination – but i am just being honest about how i feel.
in all seriousness – anyone out there looking for a great strenght/cardio workout @ a moderate level – shred-it with weights is the way to go.
and you don’t need a kettlebell – you can use any light handweight (3-8lbs).
it’s about 25 minutes (warm-up & cool down included) & i think just about anyone can find 25 minutes a day to workout…
just sayin…

moving along…
still going strong in the sweet tooth challenge – although friday is the last day that i committed to. but i am pushing on. i admit there are times when i crave something junkie – but i have held on & made healthier choices.

the misconception about this challenge is that i am restricting myself – not true at all. i eat plenty & snack at least twice a day. i am just making different choices with what i eat.
speaking of choices & eating.
switching back to a full vegan diet has been a breeze. but i feel better about it this time. i know i am ready to committ & it feels right.
i have also made a pledge to be more open & experimental with my vegan diet this time around.
i tried soy milk for the 1st time & i love it.
no really – I LOVE IT! i am not a milk person – never have been – and while i would never drink a glass of soy milk per say – it is amazing in cereal & makes oatmeal taste DIVINE!
i also tried quinoa for the 1st time – LOVE IT TOO! it smells & looks really weird – but oh so yummy. sorta like cous cous but i liked the quinoa better & the health benefits are fabu!

i want my diet to consist of a mixture of different foods & not just be about stir-fried veggies, tofu & brown rice. although i do love that – no one can live on veggies, brown rice & tofu alone.

speaking of vegan – i found this freakin’ awesome blog/site via pinterest that i am totally all over -- beautiful-vegan.com.
loads of information & recipes – even non-vegans would like it!

i warned ya of randomness – so i am totally switching gears here.

i am about fed up with my knees.
i have written about the chronic pain i have had for 20+ years & while since taking off weight & making exercise a daily priority it has gotten overall better – it still hurts. and mainly while i am working out. and it pisses me off.
i am capable of physically doing so much more than my knees (right one in particular) are allowing me to do.
and i am not talking about the muscle pull i had a few weeks back – i am talking about joint pain that lessons my ability to run, jump, squat, & lunge! all things i need to do in order to be in the physical shape i want to be in.
it is sooooo frustrating to know have the strength & endurance to do something that one part of your body is hindering you from doing!

i saw my doctor a month or so ago – she gave me solid advice which helped with the muscle pull (new shoes, epsom salt soaks, stretching, etc.) – but none has helped with the joint pain & i am to the point that i want to address it & make it stop.

i admit fully that i want a quick fix (cortisone shot please!) & to be on my merry way to the gym where i can run, jump, squat & lunge my way through a kickass workout!
so i am adding two cortisone shots on my xmas wishlist this year… heh!
(i say this like i am a doctor & know for sure that will fix what ails me – dontcha love self-diagnosis?)

well i think that about sums it up…
enough rambling & ranting for one day!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta diem!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.13 (photos & measurements)

day 96:
happy frollickin’ friday blogdom!

i had this whole other post thought out & pretty much written in my head & then a few things happened…
i lost 1.8 lbs @ my weight watcher weigh-in/meeting this morning – which was completely unexpected & totally fuckin' awesome!
i had a great week & wasn’t expecting a gain but i lost 3.2lbs. last week & typically my losses go big one week, miniscule the next.

(me today on my way to my meeting)
the fact that i averaged a 5lb. loss in the past two weeks just blows my friggen mind!

I can only attribute it to a couple of things -- the sweet tooth challenge (still going strong – can you believe today makes 2 weeks already?) & eating MUCH cleaner overall; veganism aside.
and let’s not forget my daily shred workouts!

which brings me to the next thing that happened…
i promised to post the stats from ripped in 30 (gory details in the new shredhead tab above) & here they are…
i gotta admit that when i first took them & compared them to the results from the 30 day shred -- i was a wee bit disappointed.

then i started to edit my photos from day 30 & i actually didn’t want to throw myself in front of a moving train!
matter of fact i kinda liked the way i look – so much so that i got all wimpy & blubbery. brian had to come hug me & everything…
i know, i know – so not like me – but i have been workin’ my ass off & it’s nice to see it all starting to pay off!
i mean my family & friends tell me all the time how good i am starting to look – but it took seeing those photos today for it really to sink in – i am doing this!

i think this photo shows the biggest change – i actually have a midriff now!

and this photo reallllly puts it into perspective…

so progress is being made & i need to get outta that *diet mentality* -- that it’s all about the numbers! i feel better than i have in years – quite possibly ever & i am able to wear clothes that haven’t graced my body since before i became preggo with skylar 3+ years ago.
so I need to stop my bitchin’ & the undermining of my own efforts already – because it is counterproductive & just dumb!

numbers aside – what did i learn from the past 30 days?
i learned that exercise can become habitual & second nature – after 60 days of daily workouts – i cannot imagine my day without it & i continually want to push myself to the next level.
i learned that success breeds success. the more i achieve in this journey the more it fuels me to keep going. i have *drive* & it quite possibly may be a 1st for me?
because while i have strived for goals in my past – never have i felt driven like this!
so fuck the numbers – i rock no matter what!
i think that says it all & about sums it up!

peace, l♥ve & carpe diem the fuck outta today & everyday bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

pssssst…
go link up to my rockin’ hop -- open until sunday @ midnight -- all links welcome – even giveaways & other hops!
i am just coolio like that…

forks over knives

day 94:
happy humps ya naughty bloggah’s!

so i am happy to report that i am not in full-throttle bitch mode today – i feel a wee bit better & no longer have the desire to either punch or eat everything in sight!
yay!

so last night bri & i watched forks over knives -- a brilliant documentary that basically (and i quote)…
“examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting animal-based and processed foods.”

i would recommend this movie to anyone!
(we are wicked documentary freaks so i don’t go around recommending every one i watch – but like food inc. -- this one is a must see!)
the statistics & findings are amazing – and the movie follows 3 people as they adhere to a plant based diet & reverse their health issues which include: type 2 diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, weight. along with other people who participated in a TWELVE year study!

now before anyone gets in an uproar & tells me to get off my soapbox – i realize the thought of cutting out or at least limiting animal products (meat, dairy & eggs) just terrifies most people – and as someone who followed veganism (april – august this past year) – it can be scary.
but it can be done.
even though i fell off the vegan wagon -- i do eat more of a plant based diet than not. there are many days i do not consume meat – I still choose a veggie burger over meat anyday -- but i do eat meat on occasion.
now i am seriously questioning why?

and when you think about it – would you consume the breast milk (news flash: cow milk comes from lactating cows!) of another person or animal?
naw didn’t think so…
honestly – put that way & the whole dairy thing skeeves me right the fuck out!
goodbye cow nipple juice – hello soy milk!

and don’t even get me going on my thoughts on how our government polices our food consumption (via the usda) & pushes us to consume food based on the almighty dollar…
i will keep off that soapbox – but I will say this -- i think it is utter bullshit that it costs a family more to eat a healthy diet than one of ding-dongs, chips, & processed crap!

anywho… my point is this – watching that movie last night reminded me of all the reasons i wanted to be vegan in the first place & made me really think about what it is exactly that i want from this journey. i know it isn’t just about my weight & fitting into a smaller pair ofjeans – that might have been the reasons that sparked my journey – but those are perks & not my driving force anymore.
what drives me now is the desire…
to be healthy – really healthy. not in a processed *diet food* sorta way (and no disrespect to anyone who utilizes those products) -- but from real food that fuels my body & benefits it.
to be fit through my food choices & exercise
to be an example & an inspiration to my children.
and
to be the best version of me i can be. i have sold myself short for 41+ years & i am ready to be the me i was always meant to be!

so in saying all of that – i think it will come as no surprise that i am going back to veganism. truth is i never should have allowed life issues (addressing my depression & new medications) steer me from that path. but i cannot live in the past nor bury myself with regret. i have made immense strides in my food choices even without veganism – so i expect that this transition back with go smoothly.
i know how to do it & i know it can be done --- so it will!

i promise not to be preachy (other than this post of course – sorry i just get excited & wanna share shit) about it – nothing irks me more than people who preach about anything – but it will be something i talk about on my blog of course.

moving along…
tomorrow marks the end of ripped in 30 & yes I did it faithfully and daily for the past 30 days!
it also marks 60 days straight of daily exercise – which amazes me. i don’t think i have ever done anything consequetively for 60 days straight let alone exercise!
and i don’t plan on stopping.
so friday i will have the *official* digits (as in measurements) & such. i am not expecting as dramatic a change as the 30 day shred – that workout shocked my body into über submission – but i think there must be some changes.
we shall see…

also on friday i will begin shred it with weights -- another jillian michaels workout – of course.
it follows her basic circuit 1-2-3 (strength,cardio, ab) style training only this time utlizing a kettleball (which i need to purchase asap). you can use a single hand weight but i am all about the goodies…
i think that about covers it…
and don’t forget to check out forks over knives!

peace, l♥ve & VEGAN margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

monday musings...

day 85:
happy monday blogosphere!

so now that the hustle & bustle of thanksgiving is behind us i am super ready to get back to life as we know it.
i think i totally psyched myself out last week – over-thinking the potential foodfest that would be & ultimately sabatoged any decent plan of attack i might have had.
live & learn & something i will not be repeating over xmas!

this time of year is just tough…
and not just in respect to diet. we are all under our own unique pressure & sometimes it can be crumbling & if you are an emotional eater like me & which i suspect most of us are – well it can lead to that which we are trying so hard to avoid.
last year i gained 7 lbs between thanksgiving & xmas. i also avoided my w8 watcher meetings for that 4 week span & did not track & certainly did not exercise. i was working like a fiend at the time & assumed that would be enough & obviously i was oh-so-wrong.
(aren’t i always when i think i know better?!?!)
this year that will not happen.
i will attend my weekly meetings & weigh-in’s no matter what (this past friday case in point).
i will continue to track & exercise daily.
and while i hope to lose – i will be happy not to gain during these next four weeks!

i have learned in these past 50 days (today is day 20 on the ripped in 30 if you can believe that!) that i need my daily workout – it makes everything okay; truly. it is my one time of the day that is solely about me & my needs & i need that. (don’t we all?) it allows me to focus on me & not be overwhelmed by all that life is throwing on my lap. and even when the workout is over i am so elated to have completed it that nothing gets me down!
oh & the added health benefits & the fact that i have noticeable weight loss & muscle tone is just a BONUS!

speaking of the ripped in 30…
as i stated, today is day 20 (tab above details my process) & i am on the tail end of level 3 which is just insanity! i have been able to do most of it but there are a few movements that i am just like *what the fuck* about.
table dips are not my friend!
lunge jacks are also not my friend.
duck walk – blech!
and that’s just a few.

it is without a doubt a whole new level of intense & not completely unattainable – but yesterday was the 1st day i got through it without pausing or copping out on a movement & i am 5 days in.
jillian is the master of pushing you to your limits all while telling you not to quit & that you can do it!
i ♥ her!
and i hear level 4 is just a whole new sorta hell… *gulp*!

also i am 4 days in on the sweet tooth challenge – 21 days of no junkfood.
day 2 so far was the hardest – my sweet tooth nearly got the best of me – but i stayed strong. i knew this was going to be tough & am trying to redefine my idea of a *treat* & *sweets*.
i bought a new blender & am on a smoothie kick – they are filling & sweet!
i make one with plain greek yogurt, fruit & fresh spinach in the morning & have another sans yogurt in the evening for a snack. the one without the yogurt is zero points!
score!
it gets my fruit in, curbs the sweet craving, & it’s healthy!
score!

i wanted to end today with a link to one of my most fave blogs of all time – life after I “dew”-- the 1st blog i ever *followed* even.

shannon is a real gal who says it like it is & has the most adorable little girl & cutie-pie hubby! oh and she is not hard on the eyes either & recently lost 47lbs the right way by diet & exercise.
okay enough gushing…
she wrote this post: healthy today & i just had to pass it along!
if you are a pintrest freak like me/us then you must see all the *thinspirations* floating around along with such mishapped advice on how to become these skeletor-esque women.
this photo was labeled as *thinspiration* and the pinner actually said “nice ribs”!?!?!

i think diet & weight is so personal & every person is entitled to strive for their own ideal – but i have to agree with shannon in that most mainstream ideals are unrealistic & certainly sending out the wrong message!
thanks shannon – you nailed it today with her post & it is a MUST read & as a gal in quest of a healthy fit body & as a mother of little girl it really rang true!
I never want my beautiful little girl to ever feel like she needs to be some emaciated being to be accepted & deemed ideal!
with that i bid adieu & post this question to you all?
what do you think of the *thinspirations* out there?!?!
do they inspire or terrify you?

for the record – this is what inspires me!
peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.10

day 76:
bonjour blogamselles & blogseurs!

happy saturday to us all!
it’s the weekend – let’s par-tay!
heh!

so yesterday was my w8 watcher weigh-in/meeting & i am happy to report that i lost .4 lbs. yeah not a whole heck of a lot but just enough to put me in the…
*drum roll please*
180s!!!!
i have not seen a digit in the 180s since right after i had skylar in june 2009 & i nursed for the first couple of weeks. once i was unable (another sad story for another time) to breastfeed i started to gain mad weight.
i now realize i was most likely suffering from post-partum depression -- but by the time i saw my ob/gyn for my 6 week post-partum checkup i was 203lbs – the exact same weight i had been when i went to the hospital to deliver skylar!?!?!?!
i had gained like 20 lbs in about 4-5 weeks time!
i was so defeated, confused & disgusted!

by that following thanksgiving – 5 months later – i had packed on another 40 lbs. – hitting a personal highest weight ever.
(taken the day after thanksgiving 2009 – 240 lbs.)
and thus the battle began.
it took me 2 ½ years & a bazillion ups & downs -- but HELLO 180’s!!!!!

so umm yeah – i am pretty stoked!
okay SUPER stoked!

i know i say a lot of stuff about it just being a number on the scale – and i truly do still believe that – but seeing a number that i haven’t seen in almost 3 years is certainly an über dose of motivation!
and this is just the beginning!
yay!

okay enough blatant braggin’…

so i wanted to share a new blog by one of my most fave bloggers & tweeters – ashley!
this phat chick
she is putting it all out there & for those of us who blog about our weight loss/health journeys we know how freakin’ scary that is – so please go show her some bloggy l♥ve, give her a follow, and cheer her on!

for the record – putting it all out there – my actual weight, photos, fears, bitchin’s, etc is the BEST fucking thing i EVER did. it may not be for everyone – but for me, that honesty & accountability is what has kept me going on my darkest days, hours, minutes, & seconds!
and i know i probably woulda copped out on the 30 day shred if it wasn’t for my bold ass being all braggy about it on here – this community rocks balls & the support is monumental in my success – so a big PHAT sloppy mwah with tongue to you all!
heh.

one more thing…
i saw my doctor yesterday about my knees – even though they feel much better – i wanted to make sure it wasn’t a serious injury & i do not believe in suffering. being a martyr is just dumb!
anywho…
she said that it is probably muscular – as in a pull/strain – which is what i thought as well.
i have no serious damage & very little arthritis – which i was shocked to hear. i have had knee pain in my right knee off & on since i was in my 20s (many fuckin’ moons ago).
she thinks that pain comes & goes with my weight…
hmmmm… ya don’t say?
she said with all the working out/exercising i am doing that this is just part of the process & i should continue to soak when necessary, use heat and/or ice, and take ibuprophin. if it worsens then obviously come back & she will xray.
i was wearing the new nikes i got a few weeks back for a steal & she asked me if those were the shoes i wore while working out – which of course they are. she said that they may be a lot of the problem!
shut the frig up!
and she recommended a light-weight shoe – named a few brands she used – saucony, assics, brooks – and oddly enough i was eyeballin’ some saucony the other day as well.
so i definitely need better shoes!

well that’s all i got peeps…
au revoir – i leave ya with a reminder to join -- open until midnight tomorrow!

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
as usual – no rules – link up whatcha like – even giveaways cause i personally happen to lurve free shit!
all the cool kids are doing it!







peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

one tough bitch...

day 74:
‘ello blogga-hood!

can you believe i was in bed & asleep by 8pm last night?
while it is nice that i got a massive amount (10 freakin’ hours) of sleep – it also a wee bit lame-o…
but in my defense – this week has sorta been a struggle – and it fuckin’ pisses me off when i feel less than a 100%!
between the knee issue & my need to stuff my face non-stop – i swear the battle wears me down.
do you ever feel like this is more of a battle than a journey?

i know it is part of the process – but what the holy heck?
it suckeths i do protest!
tomorrow is my weigh-in/meeting & despite the struggle – i am not worried.
weird aye?
especially with all my pissed off/lame-o/sucketh talk…
yes -- it is a battle – but i think (the operative word here) i am winning – so that is the good news @ least.
i started level 2 on the ripped in 30 yesterday – umm yeah, thanks jillian for kicking my ass across the living room & back.
definitely harder & i am so glad i did the 30 day shred before even thinking about this one. but such an awesome workout – i was sweating buckets & i needed that!
i still sit in awe in all i have accomplished in these past 39 days…

anywho…
so i have been doing some research on a new workout/running shoe.
in my mind i am thinking of going ultra light –like these reebok realflex – in purple no less!
but as a non-experienced runner i wonder if this is best?
i would l♥ve some shoe feedback from the runners out there!
what are your faves & some selling points i should be on the lookout for?
any & all advice is sincerely appreciated!

i bid adieu with a little head start on…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
As usual – no rules – link up whatcha like – even giveaways cause I personally happen to lurve free shit!




peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

we gotta winner & other tidbits

day 66:
put your hands in the air my bloggah’s!
i have so much to say tonight – so consider yourselves warned…

but first & foremost -- the winner of my very 1st giveaway –

-

super duper congrats to rachel @ because i have to. “i’m not weird, i’m gifted!

she rocks, her blog rocks, and she is one of my fave twitter peeps! go congrat her & check out all that is her awesomeness

i want to thank every single one of you who entered & how much i wish you all could win!

i also cannot express my gratitude& appreciation enough for all the amazing comments you awesome peeps left me yesterday. seriously i am touched & next to my crazy-ass family, you guys are the best cheering section ever !

completing the 30 day shred was a big personal hurdle for me & i am so glad i could share my experience here with you all.
i have literally been walking on air with this shit-eating grin on my face since yesterday…
so much so that today while out shopping with my mom & my daughter i decided to do the unthinkable & try on some jeans in a bonafide dressing room…
dum dum dummmmmm…
i brough a junior size 13 jeans in & those fuckers were too freakin’ big!
*jumps for joy*
so i tried on a size 11 & they were too tight…
pffffft!
so apparently i reside in jean limbo ( which i plan on breaking free of asap).
not quite a size 13 & not quite a size 11.
and yes, i can fit into misses 12’s but because i have a boyish figure (no defined waist & narrow hips with a long inseam – seriously i do & it suckeths!) they tend to fit me like *mom pants*. and while i am indeed a mom – ummm no thanks, i will pass on the *mom pants*.

it’s all good in the hood – i will get there; no worries!
plus i didn't mind my reflection in that ginormous ass mirror with the gawd awful flourescent lights for the first time in too long to remember!

as promised – i did start ripped in 30 today – so i am carrying on. be sure to check the tab above – i will be posting daily again!

day one – don’t I still look happy as fuck?!?!

I am stoked to be continuing on with jillian (you know we are tight like that) & striving to be fit & strong!

so as you can see – life is trudging along & lookin’ up every single day.
i feel hopeful & in control of where i want to be & most importantly of whom i wanna be & that makes me happier than anything really…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn