blogger vs. wordpress

day 137:
happy day-before-weigh-in bloggy peeps!

so i wanna kick blogger square in the gonads today.
yes it has balls – big, smug, uncooperative balls.

i have been having serious issue with this site for a week or better -- amongst the minor issues i have had for eons.
but lately i am unable to comment on certain blogs – not all – just certain ones? i can read the blog but if i hit the comment button either the whole page freezes or goes white?
and no it is not on my end. i have done everything possible – from upgrading my java & browser to screaming “FUCK YOU” right at my pc.
but then i enabled the “reply” feature (part of bloggers upgrades i might add) for my own comment form & now i cannot even do that on my own frickin’ blog?!?!
WHAT THE FUCK BLOGGER!?!?!?!

so i thought back to the last time i griped about blogger -- how i cannot stay signed into my own blog otherwise it becomes a total clusterfuck – and robin (massholemommy) told me then that i needed to take the plunge & dump blogger right on it’s ass for wordpress.

so i started puttering around on wordpress today…
the thing is – i ♥ blogger. i love the community of amazing peeps (that would be you!) that i have been fortunate enough to come across & i love that blogger was my first “real” blog site. (i blogged way back when it was called journaling…)
but…
blogger SUCKS!
at least for me lately it does.
and i am super leery of this whole swap to google blogs (or whatever the fuck they are gonna call it) & what a giant snafu that will be?
so i might be bailing ship…

i have been considering a few changes to my blog – nothing drastic – this will ALWAYS be about my journey & i will NEVER censor my posts, words, thoughts, etc.
sorry, you are stuck with my high heel wearing, eff bomb dropping ass!

but maintaining one blog is hard enough – let alone two – so i have been trying to find a way to transistion the two into one. and the truth is – i am much more a chunky goddess than a purple goddess any day.
i love my purple goddess blog – but i am not a *mommy blogger* in that traditional sense & this blog has always felt more like me from day one.

so that is where i am at…
i know some of you use & love wordpress & i am curious as to how hard the transition is?
did you swap all your blogger goodies to wordpress?
do you find it easier?
any input is greatly appreciated!

and to my die-hard blogger peeps (obviously blogger likes you!) – would ya still follow me if i jump ship & go to the *dark side*????

weigh-in & meeting tomorrow – i know i said this last week but i feel like i might have a little gain – just haven’t been on my game this week & i swear when your head isn’t in it the rest follows…
we’ll see?

happy thursday!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta this diem!
xxoo
cyn

can you fucking believe that as i am posting this i am having MAJOR issues editing this post?!?!?! are the blogger police watching me or has blogger completely shit the bed?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

coasting...

day 134:

monday monday bloggerville!

i am waving the white flag…
i am officially in a foul mood, tired & life is kickin’ my ass.
okay – well the foul mood & tired part is true at least – life kicks everyone’s ass – what makes me so fuckin’ special?
i have seemed to have lost my mojo in the past week or so?
i am still doing what i do but some days lately it has been a total struggle.
i am still tracking my food & eating well…
still doing my daily dose of jillian…
but i am not putting forth any extra effort to push myself a little harder.

i want to run…
but i haven’t -- not since that one day last week i got the wild hair across my ass...
and i haven’t a valid excuse so i won’t even try to muster one up for good measure!
maybe i need some of this?
i’m in a funk – it happens – and trust me, with my depression i am used to this – only a million times worse & more often.
the old me woulda done this to ease the pain…
the new me says *fuck that noise!*
it will pass & i will kick it back into high gear but for now i am just coasting along…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta this diem!
xxoo
cyn

**wanna contact me in a more personal manner than my comment form? feel free to email me: chunkygoddess@verizon.net.

weigh-in vol.18

day 131:
happy tee gee eye effin eff bloggyhood!

so let’s get to the goods shall we?
weigh-in went better than i thought – i was down .6lbs & ya know down is always better than up so yeehaw!

we (my mom & i – she is my weight watcher buddy) went to an earlier weight watcher meeting today. in the meeting a gal received her 100 lb. charm.
umm wow!
and she was so gracious about it & so empowering. while i may not have that much weight to lose it still made me feel like i can do this!
i love my meetings – i know i would not be as successful without them (and this blog!).

we also went technologically savvy @ weight watchers today. whole new system that automatically posts your weigh-in to your weight tracker on the weight watcher e-tools!
i love shit like that!
you still have to manually change it on your ww profile – but i can live with that!

now something complete off-topic:
i was reminded today that when push comes to shove & the feelings of the peeps i love are at stake – i will turn into the bitch goddess from HELL with no mercy & no limitations to my wrath.
i am a force to be reckoned with & i pity the fool who does!

sorry i am slacking on the hop today amongst other things. seriously – my daughter being so sick for a week has thrown our whole lives off. i feel shitty for not replying to all of your comments because i do read every single one & they mean so much to me. along with your blogs! i am reading faithfully – i just don’t always time to construct a thought let alone type a comment.
bottom line: i simply adore you all to pieces! xxoo!

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
rockin’ the hop button is always nice & i über appreciate all of you that do!
and if ya find a new blog that blows your skirt up – be sure to leave them a comment saying you are a new follower & tell them ya found them on *the no more muffin top* hop.
that’s it – easy peasy!





peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

the media sucks

day 114:
tuesday tidings bloggerhood!

so i have to make an observation…
(and a bitchfest too while i am at it)
xmas night – as in xmas not even being officially over – we were hangin’ out watching some random movie that wasn’t even xmas-y (that is a whole other rant for another time – how tv SUCKS @ xmas time now) & the fuckin’ media is already on our asses about losing weight for the new year.

they are a smart bunch those fuckin’ media types.
they know that the numero uno resolution for most americans will be to lose weight/get in shape. it’s been my numero uno for 20 years at least!
so sure as shit – there is a slimmer janet jackson with her soft melodic voice shoving nutri-system down our throats.
special k had ads out the whazoo…
i saw a couple for slimfast…
and let’s not forget my least favorite ad – mariah carey for jenny craig. (oops i mean *jenny* as they are calling themselves nowadays in an effort to promote change & to be more “holistic with a simpler approach to dieting” -- their words – not mine)
i am sorry but mariah carey is so fucking annoying standing in her sheet/bandeau/whatever strategically wrapped around her seemingly thinner body whilst flippin’ her hair around. she used to be so awesome & somehow she became trashy & gross & she is the last person i would look to for any inspiration! and normally ANY woman willing to give childbirth a whirl around age 40 instantly gets my respect – but she has even made that experience trashy?
i will stop now…

i am not dissin’ these weight loss company’s just because I happen to love weight watchers (because it works using REAL food & without deprivation) – if they help people get to a healthy weight in a healthy way – cool beans by me!
but if you think that i believe for a nano second that superstars like janet & mariah used nutri-system or jenny to get back into shape -- then ya got another thing coming!
they have a TEAM of people who make them who they are – and none of them are named jenny…
but that is neither here nor there.

my biggest grievance is the fact that xmas wasn’t even over & already the media is back in our brains picking away to ultimately pick our wallets!
because trust me – they don’t care if we are overweight & unhealthy – they just want our moola in one way or another.
and you know this WHOLE week will be flooded with these commericals!

i think losing weight, gaining health & getting fit SHOULD be a top priority & resolution if that is something you want.
but how you choose to do so is really very personal because we gotta get our heads in the right place before ever having any success no matter what method you use.
where are the ads for that?
everything is about ease, speed & efficiency – and sorry but those words do not exist in the realm of sustaining long term weight loss!
it is hard…
takes time…
and is never efficient – at least not for me – i gotta move heaven & earth some days to get my workouts in & to come up with new & interesting ways to eat healthy so i don’t die of food boredom!

sorry to go off on a huge tangent…
basically it irks me that getting healthy has become so commericalized like everything else in the world.
okay wait correction – i can handle the commericialization IF it were all valid.
we have so much ineffective measures & misleading information out there that it is no wonder we are progressively becoming a nation of obese people raising a generation of children who will undoubtedly be even more obese than us.

don’t believe the hype!
be informed…
consult your doctor…
and more importantly be realistic – if it sounds too good to be true – it is!

and ummm fuckin’ media types – let us digest one holiday before choking us with the next expenditure! xmas day/night should be – dare i say – sacred & off limits?
but that’s just my two (okay maybe more like ten) cents!

any thoughts?
am i alone in thinking this?

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander at my xmas photos & more --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

i will not crack under the pressure!

day 108:
hola mi bloggitas & bloggitos!

yeah i know i have been m.i.a for the past couple of days which is unlike me – we all know i love to gab on my blog.
but…
my gorgeous 2 ½ year old daughter has been extra demanding this week?

(i know you cannot believe it looking @ this adorable face huh?)
i dunno if it’s a 2 year old thing?
a girl thing?
or a it’s-almost-xmas-and-i-am-about-to-burst-with-excitement thing?
i am going with a combo of all three!
needless to say – miss thang is not having any of my time being spent on other frivalous things like cooking, laundry, bathing & blogging when i should be devoting my attention all to her all of the time.
i wish i were joking…
she freaked out last night because i left the room to go cook dinner & again when i went to pee without her.
we are officially conjoined twins now.
(she is happy doing crafts & she did NOT get that from me!)
i get it – i spend a lot of time with her & we are very close & she always wants to be doing what i am doing – but never to the point of FREAKING out like a maniac?
and it makes me feel bad.
she is so upset & all she wants is to be with me -- so i cave.
all fine & well – but it been really hard trying to do a day’s worth of stuff all in the evening after she goes to bed – on top of trying to get my workouts in. – and getting the sleep i need because she will be up @ 5-6am ready to do it all over again!
sighhhh…
when they say being a stay-at-home-parent is the hardest job in the world – they don’t lie! going to work 40 hours a week was a breeze compared to this.
i can do this… i can do this…
because i wouldn’t have it any other way & we have made many sacrifices so i could stay at home & be with her.
AND she wouldn’t be the vibrantly brilliant child that she is if i hadn’t!
(nothing against moms who work – don’t bombard my email or comment form with attitude – i worked my ass off when my boys were little because i had to & they turned out wonderful as well… )

so the countdown to the big day (xmas) is on!
(I ♥ nike & a nike santa rules!)
are ya’ll ready?
i have one gift card to buy, some grocery shopping & all of my wrappin’ left to do – but other than that i am good to go.
at this point – anything i don’t get done wasn’t meant to be!

tomorrow night i have a yule party to attend that one of the women in my goddess group is hosting. our little group has been on hiatus through the holidays so it will be awesome to see my goddesses!
i suspect the cocktails will be flowing along with a bevy of munchie party-type foods – one of my many weaknesses i might add.
i am such a sucker for chips & dip & finger foods!
but i have a plan – no alcohol & i am bringing veggies & hummus -- & i am NOT veering from the plan.
it will be the first time ever that i have attended a party/event & not had at least one glass of wine. but one leads to two which leads to three which leads to a taco bell detour on the way home & we will not be going that route this year!
i have weigh-in on friday & i am not fucking it up the night before!

so a lot going on & it is effecting my eating. well not so much my actual eating -- i have been good but tempted more than usual – it could be the beginning stages of pms as well. we went out to eat twice this week too – which i am sorry – is just hard.
i ate a little more than usual but at least my choices were good.
PLUS i am working out daily & i am still eating vegan & going strong! so i don’t feel overly bad about a little over-indulgence.

BUT I WILL NOT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE!

i am trying to come up with new & unusual ways to stay on track because my motto through the new year is this…
and nothing will detour me.
not xmas…
not a clingy toddler (bless her little heart)…
not xmas gatherings with tons of booze & goodies to eat…
and certainly not pms!
what are your plans of survival for xmas?
are ya winging it & hoping for the best?
gotta plan to stay on track?
or just enjoying the day without a care in the world?
it is just one day after all…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

forks over knives

day 94:
happy humps ya naughty bloggah’s!

so i am happy to report that i am not in full-throttle bitch mode today – i feel a wee bit better & no longer have the desire to either punch or eat everything in sight!
yay!

so last night bri & i watched forks over knives -- a brilliant documentary that basically (and i quote)…
“examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting animal-based and processed foods.”

i would recommend this movie to anyone!
(we are wicked documentary freaks so i don’t go around recommending every one i watch – but like food inc. -- this one is a must see!)
the statistics & findings are amazing – and the movie follows 3 people as they adhere to a plant based diet & reverse their health issues which include: type 2 diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, weight. along with other people who participated in a TWELVE year study!

now before anyone gets in an uproar & tells me to get off my soapbox – i realize the thought of cutting out or at least limiting animal products (meat, dairy & eggs) just terrifies most people – and as someone who followed veganism (april – august this past year) – it can be scary.
but it can be done.
even though i fell off the vegan wagon -- i do eat more of a plant based diet than not. there are many days i do not consume meat – I still choose a veggie burger over meat anyday -- but i do eat meat on occasion.
now i am seriously questioning why?

and when you think about it – would you consume the breast milk (news flash: cow milk comes from lactating cows!) of another person or animal?
naw didn’t think so…
honestly – put that way & the whole dairy thing skeeves me right the fuck out!
goodbye cow nipple juice – hello soy milk!

and don’t even get me going on my thoughts on how our government polices our food consumption (via the usda) & pushes us to consume food based on the almighty dollar…
i will keep off that soapbox – but I will say this -- i think it is utter bullshit that it costs a family more to eat a healthy diet than one of ding-dongs, chips, & processed crap!

anywho… my point is this – watching that movie last night reminded me of all the reasons i wanted to be vegan in the first place & made me really think about what it is exactly that i want from this journey. i know it isn’t just about my weight & fitting into a smaller pair ofjeans – that might have been the reasons that sparked my journey – but those are perks & not my driving force anymore.
what drives me now is the desire…
to be healthy – really healthy. not in a processed *diet food* sorta way (and no disrespect to anyone who utilizes those products) -- but from real food that fuels my body & benefits it.
to be fit through my food choices & exercise
to be an example & an inspiration to my children.
and
to be the best version of me i can be. i have sold myself short for 41+ years & i am ready to be the me i was always meant to be!

so in saying all of that – i think it will come as no surprise that i am going back to veganism. truth is i never should have allowed life issues (addressing my depression & new medications) steer me from that path. but i cannot live in the past nor bury myself with regret. i have made immense strides in my food choices even without veganism – so i expect that this transition back with go smoothly.
i know how to do it & i know it can be done --- so it will!

i promise not to be preachy (other than this post of course – sorry i just get excited & wanna share shit) about it – nothing irks me more than people who preach about anything – but it will be something i talk about on my blog of course.

moving along…
tomorrow marks the end of ripped in 30 & yes I did it faithfully and daily for the past 30 days!
it also marks 60 days straight of daily exercise – which amazes me. i don’t think i have ever done anything consequetively for 60 days straight let alone exercise!
and i don’t plan on stopping.
so friday i will have the *official* digits (as in measurements) & such. i am not expecting as dramatic a change as the 30 day shred – that workout shocked my body into über submission – but i think there must be some changes.
we shall see…

also on friday i will begin shred it with weights -- another jillian michaels workout – of course.
it follows her basic circuit 1-2-3 (strength,cardio, ab) style training only this time utlizing a kettleball (which i need to purchase asap). you can use a single hand weight but i am all about the goodies…
i think that about covers it…
and don’t forget to check out forks over knives!

peace, l♥ve & VEGAN margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

pms'n like a mofo

day 93:
tuesday tidings my bloggy peeps!

before i get to my plight lemme pose a question...
to my fellow weight watcher junkies out there – how are ya’ll gellin’ with the new *2012* changes?
i have heard mixed reviews & it seems like peeps either love or hate it – no medium ground?
personally – i like it. (neither love nor hate – i am the medium ground!)
and honestly – i don’t get what the hustle & bustle is about?
i know some are miffed that the dailies have been lowered – but ummm, they gave ya the flexibility to not decrease if ya don’t wanna – so why all the bellyachin’???

case in point:
this past friday when i was @ my meeting & my leader got kinda bullied into talkin’ about the changes even though it wasn’t that week’s topic – we had two chicks who complained & bitched the whole time.
now mind you --- these are the two same gals who come every week & sit in the meeting & knit the entire time?
knit?
really?
am i the only one who finds that extremily rude?
i mean really – you have such intense knitting responsibilties that you have to knit through a 30 minute once a week meeting?
and how much knitting can you really get done in 30 minutes?
i guess it’s no worse than the other gal who has to make a tuna fish sandwich @ every meeting she attends !
yes make it -- as in open the can & stink up the whole room with tuna fumes!
seriously? can’t you bring something less stanky or wait 30 minutes?
(and if you are reading this & think i might be talkin' about you -- i probably am!)
but i digress…

i realize change is hard for a lot of people – but when you are given the option to keep things just the way you like them – why complain???
(say the gal who is pms’n like a mofo & full of complaints)


yeah pms…
pms = plaguing my shit
i understand it’s a fact of life – but being just mere months from turning 42 i think it’s for the fuckin’ birds & at this juncture in my life it should be easier; not worse!
am i am asshole if i ask santa for menopause?
although i hear that’s no walk in the park either & hormone supplements sounds like it’s own kind of hell on earth.
boo hiss!
don’t mind me – uncle t.o.m & auntie flo have my happy-go-lucky-ness held hostage for a day or two…
so to lighten things up a bit…
here is a coolio article on jillian michaels site (i get her emails) on how to battle pms -- five tips for taming pms .

and because pms time if my über munchie time – i wanted to share this:

(squawkfox.com)
have any of my fellow pinterst freaks seen this pin floating around?
well it works!

all ya need is:
a brown lunch bag
¼ cup popcorn kernels
and microwave until the popping slows down.
i use the popcorn setting on my microwave & reduced the initial ½ cup of kernels the original recipe called for down because i ended up having so many unpopped ones.
it is very easy to burn the popcorn so ya really can’t leave this one unattended.
but it’s tasty (wayyyyy better than that icky air-popping machine) & no microwave popcorn chemicals! ya gotta add a little salt or whatever seasoning ya like of course – but it’s dang good for a healthy snack! and i am the queen of popcorn & wouldn’t steer ya wrong!
and if you are following simply filling like i am this is a simply filling food & is within the permiters of my sweet tooth challenge!

and if this doesn’t help your munchies or pms – there is always booze.
*snicker*


peace, l♥ve & GOBS of margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

tanning booth confessions vol.5

day 86:
happy tuesday my bloggah’s!
so because i actually made it to the gym @ a decent hour today & tanned in a booth with brandy-new bulbs (it’s the little things that blow my skirt up) i decided it was time to come clean & divulge some…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wys9zSohkic/Tm4J93PL8FI/AAAAAAAAIEU/c_p27oUWSHA/s300/img0554tbc2.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the random thoughts that permeate my sick twisted little brain whilst standing buck-ass naked in a tanning booth for the longest ten minutes of my life…

in situations like this you have no choice but to come clean and say it like it is…
so here goes – light a candle, chuck life the bird, and fess the fuck up!

confession:
i am becoming one of those oddballs gym people who stand in front of the mirror & flex their guns (or mini pistols in my case). i don’t do it at the gym per say (that would require an intervention if i did) but i do it just about everywhere else. but in my defense – i have never had actual worked.my.ass.for.them muscles – so excuse me while i gloat a bit! and i am pretty sure if i ask brian one more time to feel my muscle he might divorce me even though we aren’t even married yet.

confession:
i haven’t taken my crockpot off the shelf, let alone cooked in it, in well over a month or better. so i may not crockpot like a mofo afterall…

confession:
i am truly flabbergasted how much i can eat now that i am avoiding the junkfood. it is amazing how many points+ i waste on crap food that does nothing to keep me satisfied let alone have any nutrional value. since taking the sweet tooth challenge (button & info on my side bar over there --> ) i feel like all i do is eat & i feel content – not bloated & weighed down! yeah it’s been kinda hard – but it is getting easier every single day & all i can say is thank gawd for the green monster smoothie!

confession:
i do not get the fascination with taylor swift & find her extremily annoying – especially the babe in the woods act. c’mon honey – we all know you have banged half of hollywood – drop the innocent act already & lose the silly ringlets!
yeah, apparently i am a hater?

confession:
the biotin works…

confession:
i am still stalling on the c25k – in my defense i have so much going on – but i also admit that if i really was committed i would be all over that shit.
running? why oh why do you elude me so?

so there ya have it – no shame in my game!
what do ya need to get off your ta-ta’s?!?!
spill it…
then cross your eyes, make the sign of the devil horns, and drink a double hail bloody mary and all is forgiven…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

tanning booth confessions vol.4

day 73:
hola blogaritas!

been awhile…
so let’s have a go @ it shall we?

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wys9zSohkic/Tm4J93PL8FI/AAAAAAAAIEU/c_p27oUWSHA/s300/img0554tbc2.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the random thoughts that permeate my sick twisted little brain whilst standing buck-ass naked in a tanning booth for the longest ten minutes of my life…

in situations like this you have no choice but to come clean and say it like it is…
so here goes – light a candle, chuck life the bird, and fess the fuck up!

confession:
i hurt my knee.
i didn’t wanna admit that i did – but i so did. it is a bazillion times better than 2 days ago but it has taught me a lesson. while my body is doing things i never thought capable; i am not invincible.

confession:
i have been having yet another food-a-palooza this week.
whiskey tango foxtrot?
i weigh-in on friday’s & i swear if i run amuck on the weekend it sets the tone for the remainder of the week. i am thinking i need to do away with my anything.goes.on.saturday mentality. i can control it some weeks but others (this one) i am struggling to get back on track & leave the crap food alone.

confession:
i suffer from depression & am medicated for it.
but wellbutrin has nothing on endorphins!
true fucking story!

confession:
i am trying the biotin & it was not $3 a bottle as they claim on pintrest.
it was $8 for 100 but i am willing to give it a whirl.
from what i hear it makes your hair & eyelashed fuller & shiney. also helps with nail growth – but i get mine done so no biggie there for me. i will keep ya’ll updated.

confession:
there is a lot of buzz about the paleo diet floating around & i am sorry but anyting nicknamed *the caveman diet* doesn’t appeal to me & i cannot help but feel like this is just another *diet*.
i get the premis & some of it actually makes a lot of sense & is very similar to clean eating (no processed crap) but omitting all gains baffles me?
didn’t we all do this diet in the 90s – it was called atkins i believe?
or the sugar busters diet?
maybe i am misinformed but it sounds very similar?

confession:
i start week 2 & level 2 on the ripped in 30! (tab above tracks my progress)
i have no clue what to expect because i never preview the workouts.
but as always – i am a wee bit nervous. just when you think you have one level licked – bam – time to up the ante & fuck your whole world up!
but that’s what i love about these workouts. they are 20-25 minutes long, never boring, & highly effective!

confession:
some days i exude confidence almost to the point of appearing cocky – other days i second guess every little thing i do…

confession:
a random dude flirted with me the other day. it was so bizarro.

confession:
my bestie told me that i was looking very *skinny bitch* the other day.

confession:
i have been totally slacking with my photography. i want a new camera in the worst way & i let that want hinder me sometimes. it’s truly not the camera & i need to remember that!

confession:
we need to move – like yesterday.
my family – all five of us – are temporarily (ha - 3+ years later) living in my grandmother’s house where my mom also lives. yeah 7 peeps in one little house that even though we pay bills for isn’t ours. and we are slapped with that fact daily. sometimes hourly.
i love my extended family (mom & grandma) but we need to be elsewhere!
the economy here is bad – no really we have one of the worst unemployment rates in the nation & i just read a news report that said we would be one of the last three states to jump back from this effin’ recession.
in 2017!
seriously?
we need to move – but how do you move if you cannot find a decent job to save up money? it is a vicious fuckin’ cycle & i have had just about enough of it.
our situation could be a gazillion times worse – we do not go without anything -- but i guess i just never thought we would still be exactly where we were when we decided to just stay here for a little while so we could save money for our own house.
we have done that but with the fact that there is no job security in this blasted state – it is just scary! and i know some people are making it work & trust me i envy them – i guess i cannot help but wonder when we will get our break in life?!?! we are not asking for a handout – far from it. i would just love bri to find a job where he is paid his worth & recognized for how hard he works.
okay -- i will stop – i could write a novel about this & how it contributed to my need for wellbutrin.
*fake smile*

so there ya have it – no shame in my game!
what do ya need to get off your ta-ta’s?!?!
spill it…
then cross your eyes, make the sign of the devil horns, and drink a double hail bloody mary and all is forgiven…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

alive & kickin'

day: 60
(wow day 60 huh?)
‘ello blogdom!

wow… i cannot believe it has been four days since i ran my trap on here!?!

just super busy with halloween…


(can you tell we ♥ halloween?)



celebrating dumb supper & having a seance tuesday night with friends – which was hella cool…



and then yesterday was my oldest son, hunter’s, 17th birthday…

i cannot believe my oldest baby is seven-freakin-teen!
*sigh*

yeah, really busy in my world this week!
and all of it entailed food (wine, redheaded slut shots, candy, pasta, cupcakes, ice cream, steak) – and i fuckin’ ate way more than i should. i swear i have been eating nonstop since this past saturday @ that b-day party i went to for my bestie’s hubby!
at least i made time to do the 30 day shred daily & am still givin’ it 110% – so yay for that much!
can ya believe that today was day 25 already?!?!?!

but yeah – i am still alive & kickin & happy to be doing so…
it hasn’t been my best week food/diet wise but that is life, right?
no matter what -- birthdays, dinner parties, & holidays are gonna happen; epecially this time of year!
it wasn’t one cupcake, one glass of wine, or one slice of lasagna that got me to this point – it was days upon days of over-indulgence & i do not want to be that gal again who eats without purpose or worry.
and i won’t be!

so i ask…
how is everyone else fairing on what is just the beginning of the *holiday season*?

and on a completely unrelated (well kinda) note:
do you know they already have xmas music playing in walmart along with all the xmas trees, decorations, gift sets, & massive displays?
i think that is a blasted shame.
can we please enjoy one holiday at a time?
and last i knew thanksgiving is nestled in between halloween & xmas!
don’t buy into the hype dear bloggy peeps – they are not trying to get a jump on the holiday spirit – they wanta jump into your wallets for the holiday spending because we are just being lead to believe that no matter what we do – it is never enough or too soon.
and i am pretty sure santa would totally agree with me!
*wink*
(sorry for the rant -- just irritates me how commercialized everything is...)

don’t forget to enter my giveaway -- just 5 days left & only 48 entries so far! even if you entered already you can tweet daily for additional entries!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

potential lame-ness...

day: 24
my bloggers!

i have no freakin’ clue where this post is going – so bear with me & lemme apologize in advance for potential lame-ness!

i just got home from the gym a little bit ago and had a really great workout!
well – minus the douchebag two ellipticals (i just realized i have been spelling that word wrong for years btw) down who talked on his cell phone for his 20 minute workout.
so rude!

and ya know i am not an asshole – take a call if ya gotta (even though signs are posted asking that cell phones only be used in the lobby) – but to talk 20 minutes so loudly that i could hear you over my earphones with the volume blaring– well then you are just a dick!
that loser made me miss sex & the city and distracted me during my workout – double doozy fucktard!

other than that – gym was awesome!

i did 30 minutes on the e l l i p t i c a l & another 30 minutes circuit training.
yay me!
i am by no means buff – but i swear i feel buff-er.
heh
okay maybe not buff-er --- but definitely strong-er!

tomorrow my younger son, peyton, turns 15.
i know what you are thinking? how could a sweet young thing like myself have a child who is 15?
heh
okay i will stop…

so yeah…
peyton’s b-day and we usually have a big family dinner with cake & ice cream – typcial b-day stuff.
we are still having that – i am just opting to have some healthier options in the mix.
like grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli, and i got an amazing cupcake recipe (i will share tomorrow with photos).
plus i am not a total birthday party nazi so we are having my son’s favorite homemade mac & cheese (i will be skipping this one) and he loves banana split ice cream by friendly’s.

it’s all about compromise. and honestly, if i didn’t have weigh-in on friday i might partake a little more than the plan in my head. but typically i plot out my menu in the morning and stick to it and am usually really on mark the day before a weigh-in. and i will be plotting fo’ sho’ tomorrow.
i need a good weigh-in this week
(dammit!)

okay peeps – this chick has to take her fluffy ass to bed!
and can i say how fucking awesome you blog-o-sphere people are… truly. the nicest bunch of people i have never met in my entire life.
:smirk:
i could say more but then i would get mushy and shit.
point is : me love ya long time!

spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn

*** thanking google images – unless noted ***

tanning booth confessions vol.2

day: 22
‘ello blogdom!

another oh-so-fun installment of…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wys9zSohkic/Tm4J93PL8FI/AAAAAAAAIEU/c_p27oUWSHA/s300/img0554tbc2.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the random thoughts that permeate my sick twisted little brain whilst standing buck-ass naked in a tanning booth for the longest ten minutes of my life…

in situations like this you have no choice but to come clean and say it like it is…
so here goes – light a candle, chuck life the bird, and fess the fuck up!

confession…
i can handle getting older – truly i feel 31 and not 41 – but i would so botox the shit outta myself if i could justify such an expense being on a tight budget (ick) and all.
laugh lines look cute on other people.
not me – heh.
and i would so get a boob job too – not a lift – i want these puppies to defy gravity and to look purtier than evahhhh!


confession…
i really think my depression meds (wellbutrin) are not working which in turn makes me feel *not right* again. i was feeling so good for awhile but i feel that *funk* somewhere in me – lurking – just waiting to fuck my day up. luckily i see the doc tomorrow – but ack at the process of getting the right meds and dosage.
so daunting and i am only on round one!

confession…
i got amazing advice yesterday via twitter – basically: fuck calgon, drink tequila!
i think in moderation self-medicating my woes with a libation is a novel idea!
heh

confession…
while i am rockin’ it at the gym -- i still don’t feel that love for working out like some peeps rave about? but i am not totally loathing it either. what i do love is the sense of accomplishment and *i rock balls* attitude when i leave the gym.

confession…
i don’t get the whole twilight thing? even if i was a teeny-bopper i wouldn’t get it? yeah i watch the movies and they don’t suck – but to have so much hoopla surrounding it? i think the books were mediocre at best -- would much rather read some anne rice any day!

confession…
i was asked by a fellow blogger i adore and admire to be featured in an upcoming series and i am elated. not only to be asked but that she liked the piece i wrote.
*does naked cartwheels*
i cannot delve into it too much just yet – not my place – but trust me – when i can – i will be shouting the details from the rooftops of blogdom!

confession…
make-up sex is the best sex.

what do you need to confess to?
off to the gym to get some much needed eliptical time – maybe i am liking it more than i am willing to admit?
bizarrrrrrrrrrro!

spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn

***ROCK OUT with your CROCK OUT tomorrow & i promise it won't suck ass!***

meh

day: 21
‘ello blogdom!

i gotta tell ya – i am in no mood to write, but i made a promise to at least try and write something everyday for a month (NaBloPoMo) – so here i be’s!

today was a bad day, okay not bad, just eh -- bri and i bickered (and had a pretty nasty drag out fight) all day.

(number one rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club -- ooops!)
i hate when we have days like this…
i know it happens to all (okay most) couple; but ack.

and it takes it’s toll on us both – for me it meant not making it to the gym.
i had to stick around and have that drag out brawl after all… dumb!
in hindsight; i shoulda said *fuck this noise* and went.
but i care too much and that would feel like not caring.

i wish there was a way to wave a magic wand and make things different.
not better, different.
we will be fine; we always are.
but something has to give in our life so we aren’t compelled to use one another as an emotional punching bag.

the good news is that i made killer vegetarian stuffed peppers tonight.
can ya believe i forgot to take a pic?
i was starving and had one thing on my mind – stuffin’ my face.

also good: i am well within my points and ate clean today.

i also learned something – brown rice is horrid when cooked in a microwaveable rice cooker. blech!

that’s all i got & promise to be back to my sassy-pants self tomorrow.
besides – could be worse…
heh

spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!

xxoo
cyn

*** thanking google images ***

weigh-in vol.2

day: 19

yo blog-o-sphere!

so i am just gonna spill it.
i had my meeting/weigh-in today and i gained.
yeah…
i effin’ gained!
.4 lbs (yeah as in 4/10’s a pound) which is squat but a gain nonetheless.
:sigh:

now i am gonna rant for a bit but please understand that it just me venting – i am not detoured – if anything i am even more of a mission to do this shit!

i can handle a gain – it is part of the process…
but i would handle it a lot better if i hadn’t worked my balls to nubs in the gym earning 48 freakin activity points – which is more than i would earn in a whole month the prior two times i was on weight watchers.
also… if i had been jammin’ twinkies down my throat – i would be okay with a little gain. but i ate within my points and 89% of the time i ate clean.
and my head was so in the game because so much of this is mental.
look at me on my way to my meeting…

(ignore the trash can – ew!)
head totally in the game & i am feeling pretty damn good – fully psyched to get on the scale because i am just convinced i have lost this week again.

wrong!
i was shocked when the receptionist told me i had gained and she could see the shock on my face and says “not what you were expecting?”
umm hell fucking no…
then she asked if there was something i had done differently and i admittedly responded in a snarky voice “yeah, worked my ass off at the gym.”
i am pretty sure i made her nervous and boo hiss to me for taking my gain out on the poor chica weighing me – whom of course has been me – all leaders and recptionist are lifetime members after all.
and it sucks when you gain – because then my head is instantly outta the game.
i am not paying attention to the meeting where i learn tools and tips to help me not gain again. tricia, my leader, asked me a question and i swear you could hear the crickets creaking – i hadn’t heard a word she had said.

and i won’t lie – i was pissssssed!
wait, correction… i was confused, frustrated, and pissssssssssssssssssed!
and then the self-doubt kicks in. i feel that old *you will always be overweight* defeated piss-poor voice in my head telling me to *fuck this shit*.
that same voice is telling me to screw the meeting and just stuff my face with taco bell because that will certainly make me feel better.
and yeah it will – won’t lie.
for about a nano second.
and then round two of *beat the piss outta yourself* starts.
it is a ridiculous vicious cycle – always finding mediocre ways to self-medicate that only compound the problems i am trying to ease in the first place.
yeah, i am over that!

so i got mad – really mad – then i decided to just accept it.
maybe it was a fluke?
maybe i didn’t drink enough water yesterday?
maybe it’s muscle gain?
maybe it’s the clothes?
my hair?
makeup?
maybe a butterfly flap it’s wings too hard ultimately causing the space-time continuum to tilt a little to the left in turn making my butt bigger?
heh – it could happen? no?

oh well – dusting my self off and moving the frig on.
i am going to the gym tonight and taking my frustrations out on the eliptical until that phucka cries…
:smirk:

i know we need to measure our success somehow and sadly with weight loss the scale does come into play – but i am telling ya – there is some truth to peeps who stay the heck away from the scale and go by how they feel and how their clothes fit. i was walking on sunshine until i stepped on that evil contraption…

don’t forget to join my weekend hop, spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
(you hear that cyn – love yourself cause you do rock!)
xxoo
cyn

ohhhhh -- and thank you thank you thank you for my 100+ followers. i wanted to have a giveaway @ 100 but i kinda let that get away from me. but no worries -- something in the works!

*** thanking google images unless noted***

grab it by the balls...

day: 17
blogdom – wat up?

so i think i am recovered from the debacle that was the crock pot of shit i made last night.
yeah i shouldn’t be as miffed as i am but -- what the fuck?
only one other time in my life have i had a recipe be a flop – baked winter squash, raisin and pine nut lasagna . but at least my pasta didn’t evaporate (i am still baffled by that?) and it was edible!
it looked okay – but tasted like doodies!

moving along…
so my week – weight watcher /diet/exercise wise has been good.
i have dipped into my weeklies almost every day – and i am okay with that. weight watchers tells me that is okay and i trust them. my goal is to do what they tell me and to stick to the plan. it has gotten 5.2lbs off my rump so i am ass-uming (heh -- i love lame-o obvious jokes!) they know their shit.
and ya know what – if i knew better – i wouldn’t back here again!


i have also earned 34 ap’s (activity points) this week so far – a big-ass number for me.
in the past i have been content to earn 3 or 4 a day maybe 3-5 times a week – the bare ass minimum so i don’t feel like a total chooch.
i feel differently nowadays…
today i will be earning 14 ap’s and this bitch is pretty effin’ proud of herself on that alone!
doesn’t mean i don’t have to pep talk myself all day long, through the car ride there, and into the locker room of the gym – i do every single time. but i get there and give it 110% and always leave glad that i did!

it’s cool how motivated i am – but i also know that this is how i tend to be.
running my ass off right outta the gate only to ultimately gas out about mid-way through…
boo-fuckin-hiss!

but as i mentioned earlier – i am keeping it real and following the plan exactly as instructed – so even on the days, weeks, months that i don’t feel so gung ho – if i just do the basics i should be good.
if nothing else i won’t gain weight, right?
and trust me when i tell you -- i look and get motivation any damn where i can!
no shame in the game my friends!

no shame in taking life by the balls and using every ounce of it to get what you want. because for most of us – that shit ain’t handed out for free on a platter.
(platter --- cheese platter? get ur mind outta the munchie gutter girl!)

okay on a totally unrelated bizarro note…
anyone know why in the ever-loving hell that blogger is the only network that cannot be linked to klout?
because it is really pissing me off.
apparently i am forbidden?
(wait – that sounds kinda sexyass and a little like a cheap perfume on the clearance rack at walmart all rolled into a naughty ball of fun? )

anywho…
anyone know anything about it?
are you forbidden too you naughty kittens?
just curious…

i gotta go sweat my nether regions off!
spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
cyn