another 30 days of kickin' ass (measurements & photos)

day 126:
holla blogdom!

been a couple of days since i posted – but i have had a very sick little girl which resulted in a trip to the ER & her daddy getting sick as well (don’t ask me who was the bigger baby – i swore i would never bash him on my blog… heh). but all is better – both are on the mend & i figure it will only take a truckload of lysol to de-germ my house!
sigh.

in between tending to sick babies i managed to complete another 30 days as a shredhead (aka an avid fan of jillian michaels workouts) which brought me to 90 days of consecutive daily exercise!
yeah..
me!
nine-fucking-tee days!
holy fuckballs!

if ya have been reading along in my daily drivel/diary about my workouts (all located in the shredhead tab above) then you know i kinda be-bopped all over the place with my workouts this past month. i exercised daily & they were all jillian workouts – just not the same & certainly no plan was implemented!
i was afraid it might effect my results but…

not the case at all – these are some of the best results I have had all along!
and if you think that’s amazing – check out the comparison between day 1 & day 90!

it blows my mind that i have done this…
i know it’s corny & i have said it before but…
these workouts have changed my life!

and where do i go from here?
well, today i started this…
i try not to make total assessments on day 1 – but so far i am diggin’ it & i was certainly sweatin’ my balls off afterwards! check out the shredhead tab for more gab…

well kids – i am literally beaten down & i gotta cut this semi-short!
thank you all for the amazing comments you ALWAYS leave me – i read every word but totally am behind in replying. you all rock balls & i adore you!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

holiday survival 101

day 113:
happy *we-made-it-through-another-xmas* blogdom!
i hope your holiday was a fabu as mine.
santa was very good to us – but he always is!

(here i am @ xmas dinner)

i feel good about my eating – i ate what i wanted within the restrictions of being vegan – counted my points (i opted to track over the weekend in lieu of simply filling) – and other than a random cookie (okay those weren’t vegan – oops – but i am not gonna sweat one egg between 24 freakin’ cookies) – i was good.
oh and i did my shred-it workout– even on xmas.
so pffffft to gaining weight.
just not in my plans this year.

so i gotta share a NSV (non scale victory)…
my mom bought me clothes for xmas this year – she always does & oddly even though our styles are on the polar opposite spectrum of one another – she usually picks out great stuff for me!
but i digress…

so she buys me an outfit & i am looking at it & the pants (black cashmere boyfriend jeans that are to.die.for i might add) are a junior size 11!
up to this point i am fitting into jr. size 13’s & a random size 12 on a good day – so i told her she had way too much faith in me to buy me 11’s.
oh & a size medium shirt!
a medium!?!?!
i haven’t worn a medium or a size smaller than a 13 & the random 12 since jr. high school – no shit!
maybe even elementary school now that i think about it!

but do ya know they fit?!?!
i can wear 11’s & a size medium!
woa…

not only is this a NSV but an eye-opening moment for me.
i think when your weight has fluctuated from chunky to thick to big to fat your whole life since puberty it is really hard to wrap your head around the fact that you may slowly but surely becoming the not-so-chunky/thick/big/fat girl anymore.
but it is hard.
in my head i am NOT a size 11 & certainly not a medium -- i am still a 18/20 & XL/XXL…
but she also bought me two pairs of workout shorts with matching tees – ALL size medium & they ALL fit.
so it wasn’t some fluke…
woa…
it will probably take me some time to accept that i am doing this & the results of my hard work are starting to show in ways that even i cannot fathom.
bizarro & yet so fuckin’ cool!

so how is everyone?
how was your holiday?
lay it on me!
share your nsv’s & success stories – i love to hear them as they inspire me to stay on plan!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.15 & 16 weeks

day 110:
merry xmas eve eve blogosphere!

so i had a blast last night!

good peeps & tons of laughs – i mean that’s what it’s all about.
and ya know how i swore up & down that i wouldn’t be drinking?
yeah epic fail on that.
BUT…
in my defense – it was at brian’s urging that i relax a little & have a drink if i wanted – so i did.
and i wanted a few!

i can be quite extreme – i am just an all or nothing kind of gal. but he is right – one night out with friends – something i rarely do – is not going to derail all my hard work.
BUT…
it took every bit of me not to raid the fridge when i got home last night & i was famished ALL day today.
pffffft!

but let’s get to my weigh-in.
i had a bad feeling about my weigh-in – not that i have had a bad week – i have stuck to my usual diet & exercising daily – but we went out to eat twice this week & then last night’s adventure.
so imagine my surprise when i lost .4lbs!
not a ginormous amount but a loss nonetheless & i will gladly take it!

this time of year i am content to maintain – so a loss is fan-fuckin-tabulous!

and i got this beauty today...
my 16 week charm!
i have been a weight watcher member & attending my meetings/weigh-in's faithfully for 16 weeks!
w00ts!

and why the big deal about 16 weeks?
well studies show that sticking it out for 16 weeks leads to further commitment & long-time success!
now that's what i'm talking about!

i haven't set any number related goals since i rejoined weight watchers 16 weeks ago EXCEPT to at least stick it out for 16 weeks & not miss a weigh-in and/or meeting no matter what!
i am super proud to say i did just that!

well that's all i got kiddos – i gotta get hot & start wrapping all my gifts!
yeah; ALL my gifts!
yikes!

oh & don’t forget to link up:

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops! jump/hop/skip/whatever around & meet new peeps with kickass blogs! leave them a comment to say hi & that ya found them via the no more muffin top hop!
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

welcoming the light...

day 109:
merry winter solstice blogdom!
did ya know that today signifies the reversal of longer nights & shorter days?
so i ask you…
are you welcoming the light or saying goodbye to the darkness?

i am saying hello to the light!
i am *light*er after all… heh!

in all seriousness – i have given the darkness too much significance in my life – it is time to focus on the light!
so hello light – how the fuck are ya?

okay this is where i gotta show off my new goodies – so hang on…

i wanna take a second to thank jennifer from finding my way in texas -- i won her very first giveaway a couple of weeks back & i received my winnings in the mail yesterday & oh good golly are they amazing.
my daughter lovesssss the hat – i mean it’s a ladybug & absolutely beautifully handmade – what is not to love?
the notebook cover (thanks for the bigger one jenn), necklace & headband are just too freakin’ cute & i am so happy to have won them – you rock balls jennifer!
please take a sec to check out her blog & etsy shop – where you can purchase any of these goodies among others!

and as if one cool package wasn’t enough – i got another from one of my oldest & dearest friends unexpectedly. inside it was this…
20+ years later & she still gets me – even from across the country!
it is perfect & i love it!
thanks marie xxoo!

well kiddos – i got things to do, peeps to see & places to go – oddly enough.
i am such a homebody so going out (tonight is our yule celebration & then we are venturing out for a bit) even for a little while is a HUGE deal for me – and yeah – i am super stoked!
merry yule & i will say adios with the early posting of…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
i was gonna give the hop the weekend off with xmas & all – instead i decided to extend it from today until monday @ midnight.
as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops! jump/hop/skip/whatever around & meet new peeps with kickass blogs! leave them a comment to say hi & that ya found them via the no more muffin top hop!
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

i will not crack under the pressure!

day 108:
hola mi bloggitas & bloggitos!

yeah i know i have been m.i.a for the past couple of days which is unlike me – we all know i love to gab on my blog.
but…
my gorgeous 2 ½ year old daughter has been extra demanding this week?

(i know you cannot believe it looking @ this adorable face huh?)
i dunno if it’s a 2 year old thing?
a girl thing?
or a it’s-almost-xmas-and-i-am-about-to-burst-with-excitement thing?
i am going with a combo of all three!
needless to say – miss thang is not having any of my time being spent on other frivalous things like cooking, laundry, bathing & blogging when i should be devoting my attention all to her all of the time.
i wish i were joking…
she freaked out last night because i left the room to go cook dinner & again when i went to pee without her.
we are officially conjoined twins now.
(she is happy doing crafts & she did NOT get that from me!)
i get it – i spend a lot of time with her & we are very close & she always wants to be doing what i am doing – but never to the point of FREAKING out like a maniac?
and it makes me feel bad.
she is so upset & all she wants is to be with me -- so i cave.
all fine & well – but it been really hard trying to do a day’s worth of stuff all in the evening after she goes to bed – on top of trying to get my workouts in. – and getting the sleep i need because she will be up @ 5-6am ready to do it all over again!
sighhhh…
when they say being a stay-at-home-parent is the hardest job in the world – they don’t lie! going to work 40 hours a week was a breeze compared to this.
i can do this… i can do this…
because i wouldn’t have it any other way & we have made many sacrifices so i could stay at home & be with her.
AND she wouldn’t be the vibrantly brilliant child that she is if i hadn’t!
(nothing against moms who work – don’t bombard my email or comment form with attitude – i worked my ass off when my boys were little because i had to & they turned out wonderful as well… )

so the countdown to the big day (xmas) is on!
(I ♥ nike & a nike santa rules!)
are ya’ll ready?
i have one gift card to buy, some grocery shopping & all of my wrappin’ left to do – but other than that i am good to go.
at this point – anything i don’t get done wasn’t meant to be!

tomorrow night i have a yule party to attend that one of the women in my goddess group is hosting. our little group has been on hiatus through the holidays so it will be awesome to see my goddesses!
i suspect the cocktails will be flowing along with a bevy of munchie party-type foods – one of my many weaknesses i might add.
i am such a sucker for chips & dip & finger foods!
but i have a plan – no alcohol & i am bringing veggies & hummus -- & i am NOT veering from the plan.
it will be the first time ever that i have attended a party/event & not had at least one glass of wine. but one leads to two which leads to three which leads to a taco bell detour on the way home & we will not be going that route this year!
i have weigh-in on friday & i am not fucking it up the night before!

so a lot going on & it is effecting my eating. well not so much my actual eating -- i have been good but tempted more than usual – it could be the beginning stages of pms as well. we went out to eat twice this week too – which i am sorry – is just hard.
i ate a little more than usual but at least my choices were good.
PLUS i am working out daily & i am still eating vegan & going strong! so i don’t feel overly bad about a little over-indulgence.

BUT I WILL NOT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE!

i am trying to come up with new & unusual ways to stay on track because my motto through the new year is this…
and nothing will detour me.
not xmas…
not a clingy toddler (bless her little heart)…
not xmas gatherings with tons of booze & goodies to eat…
and certainly not pms!
what are your plans of survival for xmas?
are ya winging it & hoping for the best?
gotta plan to stay on track?
or just enjoying the day without a care in the world?
it is just one day after all…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.14 -- 10% bitches!

day 103:
tee gee eye freakin’ eff!
(i just love saying that – dunno why?)

so the weigh-in.
today was just craziness – as all friday’s seem to be lately?
skylar – my 2 ½ year old daughter -- had a check-up visit (did ya know they do 2 ½ year visits now to do early detection/intervention for autism & developmental issues because they are so widespread now?) with her pediatrician this morning – so i had to race home to drop her & bri off – get my mom (she is also a weight watcher junkie – dunno if I have ever mentioned that?) & fly to our weight watcher meeting.
we made it right in the nick of time -- phew!
and boy oh boy am i glad i did because i…
(drum roll please)
lost 3lbs & for a total of 21 lbs gone & putting me 1 lb past my 10%!!
as in i have lost 10% of my body weight!
(link takes you to a ww page that list the benefits of losing just 10% of your body weight)
***does 10% skinnier nekkid cartwheels***
yeehaw mofos!
(here is my 10% keyring – purty ain’t it?)
i was hoping to be there before xmas & was quite stoked & surprised to make it a week early!
xmas has come early & i gotta smaller booty – JUST WHAT I WANTED!

so uhh yeah – pretty effin’ happy!
(sky & i -- i ♥ this photo & it amazes me how much less i don't mind having my picture taken these days... )
but moving along to some other stuff – cause i know ya’ll are just dying to know about my random shit…

so i was bitchin’ the other day about not really being totally in love with the shred-it with weights workout right?
well…
i decided to bump up to level 2 & man oh man!
jillian (cause we are on a first name basis & all) warns you that you will *rue the day you bought this dvd* & she isn’t kidding. the difficulty between level 1 & 2 are like night & day.
but i loveeeeeeeeeeeee level 2!
it kicks ass, i love the kettlebell, i love that it is strength and cardio all in one, & i love that i have soreness in places i never fathomed could possibly hurt!
you will feel this one & you will be challenged !
this is the type of jillian workout i have come to love/hate!

also…
today marks the end of the sweet tooth challenge -- wow!
i challenged myself to three weeks of no junkfood – cakes, cookies, chips, crackers, ice cream, candy , etc. & i am happy (& kinda surprised) to say i stuck it out.
gotta admit that i thought i would cop out along the way – but i didn’t!
and brian took the challenge with me & stuck it out like a champ too!
we both agree that we feel so much better without a buncha processed crap & both of us lost weight – bri lost 4lbs (not that he needed to) & I lost 8lbs -- yeah impressive to say the least!
i am amazed @ how much my *need* to snack has diminished. i am not saying i don’t snack – i do – but i make better choices & am trying to listen to my hunger signals.
we feel so good that we are extending this challenge @ least another week.
plus – the thought of putting something into my body that could even slightly make me feel like before repels me.
i feel too fucking good to let a oreo or a dorito knock me down!

well kiddos i am wiped & have yet to workout today – so gotta get a green smoothie down my gullet & my (recently thinner) ass in my rockin’ purple saucony’s & do it up!

***this just in: apparently linkytools (the site i use to do the hop) is being an asshole because the no more muffin top hop is closed? my apologies -- i checked the format & everything is correct so it must be something on their end??? carry on!***

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.12

day 89:
happy friday blogdom!

before i start – don’t forget to link up to the no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- all links, giveaways, hops welcome – cause i am cool like that!

okay to the subject @ hand – me weigh-in…
well, i am super-stoked to report that i lost 3.2 lbs this week!
and yes, 1.8 of them are from my day-after-thanksgiving gain – but i still lost an additional 1.4 – so i am pretty amped about it!
and i have to attribute it to the sweet tooth challenge (thank you maren) & my daily workouts – i worked hard this past week!
i am down a total of 16.2 lbs (yeah i got another 5 lb. star @ my meeting) & i am just elated @ the whole process & how well i am doing.
seriously; i haven’t felt this good in eons!
i can taste hitting 10% & the 170’s actually seem attainable!

see i look happy as fuck huh?

sorry to all ya non-w8 watcher-junkies but i gotta dish -- we touched a little bit in my meeting today about the *oh so big & scary* changes.
personally i am lovin’ them.
i think the site is so much easier to navigate & i am totally diggin’ that you can finally accurately track simply filling – which i am giving a whirl seeing how i am saying no to junkfood for at least the next 2 weeks.
i think w8 watchers is continuing their push towards eating healthy. first we got zero points+ fruits & veggies & now we are getting easier ways to track simply filling.
and i know i will get slack for saying this because the beauty of w8 watchers is that you can eat anything you want but…
and i fully believe that -- so yay w8 watchers for taking a step in the right direction & promoting clean eating to some degree – you rock balls!

speaking of balls: i decided to go balls to the wall & just do level 4 yesterday on the ripped in 30 (gory details in the link and/or tab above). remember how i was hemming & hawing about it yesterday – terrified basically because i heard how insane level 4 is?
well… i put the dvd in & this *fuck it* feeling came over me & i just did it. i figured delaying it another day wouldn’t make it any easier so i needed to stop being a fucking baby already, put my big girl panties on, & just do it!
and ya know what?
i like it tons better than level 3 & i didn’t die or even come close to dying. it’s a hard workout – it’s jillian michaels so of course it’s fucking hard. but after 30 day shred & 3+ weeks into ripped in 30 – i am far stronger than i ever was & have endurance that even amazes me @ times!
heh – go figure?

i am so effin’ tired of selling myself short & thinking i am incapable – because more times than not – i rock it!
yeah i just said i rock it – tooted my own horn – patted my own back – and am without a doubt a braggin bitch!
because i am learning to love & put myself 1st & there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that!

tgif bloggyland!
indeedy!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

monday musings...

day 85:
happy monday blogosphere!

so now that the hustle & bustle of thanksgiving is behind us i am super ready to get back to life as we know it.
i think i totally psyched myself out last week – over-thinking the potential foodfest that would be & ultimately sabatoged any decent plan of attack i might have had.
live & learn & something i will not be repeating over xmas!

this time of year is just tough…
and not just in respect to diet. we are all under our own unique pressure & sometimes it can be crumbling & if you are an emotional eater like me & which i suspect most of us are – well it can lead to that which we are trying so hard to avoid.
last year i gained 7 lbs between thanksgiving & xmas. i also avoided my w8 watcher meetings for that 4 week span & did not track & certainly did not exercise. i was working like a fiend at the time & assumed that would be enough & obviously i was oh-so-wrong.
(aren’t i always when i think i know better?!?!)
this year that will not happen.
i will attend my weekly meetings & weigh-in’s no matter what (this past friday case in point).
i will continue to track & exercise daily.
and while i hope to lose – i will be happy not to gain during these next four weeks!

i have learned in these past 50 days (today is day 20 on the ripped in 30 if you can believe that!) that i need my daily workout – it makes everything okay; truly. it is my one time of the day that is solely about me & my needs & i need that. (don’t we all?) it allows me to focus on me & not be overwhelmed by all that life is throwing on my lap. and even when the workout is over i am so elated to have completed it that nothing gets me down!
oh & the added health benefits & the fact that i have noticeable weight loss & muscle tone is just a BONUS!

speaking of the ripped in 30…
as i stated, today is day 20 (tab above details my process) & i am on the tail end of level 3 which is just insanity! i have been able to do most of it but there are a few movements that i am just like *what the fuck* about.
table dips are not my friend!
lunge jacks are also not my friend.
duck walk – blech!
and that’s just a few.

it is without a doubt a whole new level of intense & not completely unattainable – but yesterday was the 1st day i got through it without pausing or copping out on a movement & i am 5 days in.
jillian is the master of pushing you to your limits all while telling you not to quit & that you can do it!
i ♥ her!
and i hear level 4 is just a whole new sorta hell… *gulp*!

also i am 4 days in on the sweet tooth challenge – 21 days of no junkfood.
day 2 so far was the hardest – my sweet tooth nearly got the best of me – but i stayed strong. i knew this was going to be tough & am trying to redefine my idea of a *treat* & *sweets*.
i bought a new blender & am on a smoothie kick – they are filling & sweet!
i make one with plain greek yogurt, fruit & fresh spinach in the morning & have another sans yogurt in the evening for a snack. the one without the yogurt is zero points!
score!
it gets my fruit in, curbs the sweet craving, & it’s healthy!
score!

i wanted to end today with a link to one of my most fave blogs of all time – life after I “dew”-- the 1st blog i ever *followed* even.

shannon is a real gal who says it like it is & has the most adorable little girl & cutie-pie hubby! oh and she is not hard on the eyes either & recently lost 47lbs the right way by diet & exercise.
okay enough gushing…
she wrote this post: healthy today & i just had to pass it along!
if you are a pintrest freak like me/us then you must see all the *thinspirations* floating around along with such mishapped advice on how to become these skeletor-esque women.
this photo was labeled as *thinspiration* and the pinner actually said “nice ribs”!?!?!

i think diet & weight is so personal & every person is entitled to strive for their own ideal – but i have to agree with shannon in that most mainstream ideals are unrealistic & certainly sending out the wrong message!
thanks shannon – you nailed it today with her post & it is a MUST read & as a gal in quest of a healthy fit body & as a mother of little girl it really rang true!
I never want my beautiful little girl to ever feel like she needs to be some emaciated being to be accepted & deemed ideal!
with that i bid adieu & post this question to you all?
what do you think of the *thinspirations* out there?!?!
do they inspire or terrify you?

for the record – this is what inspires me!
peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

monday mish-mash

day 78:
monday monday bloggerville!

so what’s new & exciting in the world of blogs?
in my neck of the woods it’s all about my new kicks!
i just decided to go with my doc’s recommendation & the consensus here (thanks rachel!) – saucony!

okay i seriously love these shoes & not just because they have some rockin’ purple laces & soles! they are light, comfy, & the second i put them on i felt like running!
matter of fact i logged in my fastest walk yesterday wearing these badass shoes!
i am thinking c25k (couch to 5k) next week perhaps?
i have yet to run in them but i am pretty confident. i just wish i liked the treadmill more – but i loathe it truth be told.

anywho…
i am still giving my knee time to heal – and it feels a lot better – but i am not 100% & feel pain during lunges/squats. if i am not better by the weekend – i will go back next week.
is it bad that i want a cortisone shot in the worst way?!?!?!
here is skylar, my 2 year old daughter, feigning a *boo-boo* so she can wear my knee brace. she finds it cool while i find it quite annoying… heh!

for the record – i am not ready for thanksgiving & i am not even the one cooking – my mom is.
i am trying extra hard to keep on track this week so i can cut loose on thursday – not overly crazy-like – but i wanna enjoy my day. and i will be @ my weigh-in/meeting on friday – yeah, as in the day after thanksgiving. it is what it is -- and i am prepared for a gain.
one day out of the year will not derail or define me.
the good news is that i am still doing this...
(click on the icon on my sidebar for more details & to join)


on friday brian & i are partaking in…
i am sure you guys have seen this *no junkfood challenge* floating around – 21 days of no chips, cookies, candy, white bread, ice cream, etc. – well this particular challenge is along the same premise & hosted by the always lovely maren @ from cow to wow.
she is a total peach & her blog is just awesomeness!
go check her out & join in the challenge if ya like.

this doesn’t change my view on not depriving yourself – but i definitely need a junk food detox & sweets are my biggest weakness!
besides – 21 days is the recommended amount of time to formulate new habits – and after doing the 30 day shred – i totally agree! i want new eating habits to go along with my new workout habits!
i wanna share another blog --fit2fat2fit -- i stumbled upon via pintrest – of course.
this man just blows me mind!
he intentionally let himself completely go for 6 months – no exercise & consuming as many calories/fat as he could resulting in a 70lb. gain! he is currently on the road back to losing the weight (3 weeks in) & getting back into shape. i am not exactly sure if i agree with his methods – he is eating a ridiculous low amount of calories daily – but it is interesting to read nonetheless.
he includes recipes, his meal plan, workout routine, vlogs, and a basic blog as well.
his goal is to relose the weight in 6 months as well & i am curious to see how & if he does it.

speaking of goals – since the day i began this journey – sept.5, 2011 – i never really set specific goals other than not to quit & to try & lose 6lbs. a month for the first 4 months. i figured that would take me through the holidays & i could then really form some solid goals.
now that i have surpassed where i ever expected i would be at this point i am really thinking that i need to formulate some legit goals. so for the next month or so i am going to contemplate what i want to accomplish in 2012 – because i have a lot that i want to accomplish!
it’s never too early to make plans for success!

well luvies – that’s all i got – run amuck & have a fuckin’ fantabulous day!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.10

day 76:
bonjour blogamselles & blogseurs!

happy saturday to us all!
it’s the weekend – let’s par-tay!
heh!

so yesterday was my w8 watcher weigh-in/meeting & i am happy to report that i lost .4 lbs. yeah not a whole heck of a lot but just enough to put me in the…
*drum roll please*
180s!!!!
i have not seen a digit in the 180s since right after i had skylar in june 2009 & i nursed for the first couple of weeks. once i was unable (another sad story for another time) to breastfeed i started to gain mad weight.
i now realize i was most likely suffering from post-partum depression -- but by the time i saw my ob/gyn for my 6 week post-partum checkup i was 203lbs – the exact same weight i had been when i went to the hospital to deliver skylar!?!?!?!
i had gained like 20 lbs in about 4-5 weeks time!
i was so defeated, confused & disgusted!

by that following thanksgiving – 5 months later – i had packed on another 40 lbs. – hitting a personal highest weight ever.
(taken the day after thanksgiving 2009 – 240 lbs.)
and thus the battle began.
it took me 2 ½ years & a bazillion ups & downs -- but HELLO 180’s!!!!!

so umm yeah – i am pretty stoked!
okay SUPER stoked!

i know i say a lot of stuff about it just being a number on the scale – and i truly do still believe that – but seeing a number that i haven’t seen in almost 3 years is certainly an über dose of motivation!
and this is just the beginning!
yay!

okay enough blatant braggin’…

so i wanted to share a new blog by one of my most fave bloggers & tweeters – ashley!
this phat chick
she is putting it all out there & for those of us who blog about our weight loss/health journeys we know how freakin’ scary that is – so please go show her some bloggy l♥ve, give her a follow, and cheer her on!

for the record – putting it all out there – my actual weight, photos, fears, bitchin’s, etc is the BEST fucking thing i EVER did. it may not be for everyone – but for me, that honesty & accountability is what has kept me going on my darkest days, hours, minutes, & seconds!
and i know i probably woulda copped out on the 30 day shred if it wasn’t for my bold ass being all braggy about it on here – this community rocks balls & the support is monumental in my success – so a big PHAT sloppy mwah with tongue to you all!
heh.

one more thing…
i saw my doctor yesterday about my knees – even though they feel much better – i wanted to make sure it wasn’t a serious injury & i do not believe in suffering. being a martyr is just dumb!
anywho…
she said that it is probably muscular – as in a pull/strain – which is what i thought as well.
i have no serious damage & very little arthritis – which i was shocked to hear. i have had knee pain in my right knee off & on since i was in my 20s (many fuckin’ moons ago).
she thinks that pain comes & goes with my weight…
hmmmm… ya don’t say?
she said with all the working out/exercising i am doing that this is just part of the process & i should continue to soak when necessary, use heat and/or ice, and take ibuprophin. if it worsens then obviously come back & she will xray.
i was wearing the new nikes i got a few weeks back for a steal & she asked me if those were the shoes i wore while working out – which of course they are. she said that they may be a lot of the problem!
shut the frig up!
and she recommended a light-weight shoe – named a few brands she used – saucony, assics, brooks – and oddly enough i was eyeballin’ some saucony the other day as well.
so i definitely need better shoes!

well that’s all i got peeps…
au revoir – i leave ya with a reminder to join -- open until midnight tomorrow!

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
as usual – no rules – link up whatcha like – even giveaways cause i personally happen to lurve free shit!
all the cool kids are doing it!







peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

tanning booth confessions vol.4

day 73:
hola blogaritas!

been awhile…
so let’s have a go @ it shall we?

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wys9zSohkic/Tm4J93PL8FI/AAAAAAAAIEU/c_p27oUWSHA/s300/img0554tbc2.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the random thoughts that permeate my sick twisted little brain whilst standing buck-ass naked in a tanning booth for the longest ten minutes of my life…

in situations like this you have no choice but to come clean and say it like it is…
so here goes – light a candle, chuck life the bird, and fess the fuck up!

confession:
i hurt my knee.
i didn’t wanna admit that i did – but i so did. it is a bazillion times better than 2 days ago but it has taught me a lesson. while my body is doing things i never thought capable; i am not invincible.

confession:
i have been having yet another food-a-palooza this week.
whiskey tango foxtrot?
i weigh-in on friday’s & i swear if i run amuck on the weekend it sets the tone for the remainder of the week. i am thinking i need to do away with my anything.goes.on.saturday mentality. i can control it some weeks but others (this one) i am struggling to get back on track & leave the crap food alone.

confession:
i suffer from depression & am medicated for it.
but wellbutrin has nothing on endorphins!
true fucking story!

confession:
i am trying the biotin & it was not $3 a bottle as they claim on pintrest.
it was $8 for 100 but i am willing to give it a whirl.
from what i hear it makes your hair & eyelashed fuller & shiney. also helps with nail growth – but i get mine done so no biggie there for me. i will keep ya’ll updated.

confession:
there is a lot of buzz about the paleo diet floating around & i am sorry but anyting nicknamed *the caveman diet* doesn’t appeal to me & i cannot help but feel like this is just another *diet*.
i get the premis & some of it actually makes a lot of sense & is very similar to clean eating (no processed crap) but omitting all gains baffles me?
didn’t we all do this diet in the 90s – it was called atkins i believe?
or the sugar busters diet?
maybe i am misinformed but it sounds very similar?

confession:
i start week 2 & level 2 on the ripped in 30! (tab above tracks my progress)
i have no clue what to expect because i never preview the workouts.
but as always – i am a wee bit nervous. just when you think you have one level licked – bam – time to up the ante & fuck your whole world up!
but that’s what i love about these workouts. they are 20-25 minutes long, never boring, & highly effective!

confession:
some days i exude confidence almost to the point of appearing cocky – other days i second guess every little thing i do…

confession:
a random dude flirted with me the other day. it was so bizarro.

confession:
my bestie told me that i was looking very *skinny bitch* the other day.

confession:
i have been totally slacking with my photography. i want a new camera in the worst way & i let that want hinder me sometimes. it’s truly not the camera & i need to remember that!

confession:
we need to move – like yesterday.
my family – all five of us – are temporarily (ha - 3+ years later) living in my grandmother’s house where my mom also lives. yeah 7 peeps in one little house that even though we pay bills for isn’t ours. and we are slapped with that fact daily. sometimes hourly.
i love my extended family (mom & grandma) but we need to be elsewhere!
the economy here is bad – no really we have one of the worst unemployment rates in the nation & i just read a news report that said we would be one of the last three states to jump back from this effin’ recession.
in 2017!
seriously?
we need to move – but how do you move if you cannot find a decent job to save up money? it is a vicious fuckin’ cycle & i have had just about enough of it.
our situation could be a gazillion times worse – we do not go without anything -- but i guess i just never thought we would still be exactly where we were when we decided to just stay here for a little while so we could save money for our own house.
we have done that but with the fact that there is no job security in this blasted state – it is just scary! and i know some people are making it work & trust me i envy them – i guess i cannot help but wonder when we will get our break in life?!?! we are not asking for a handout – far from it. i would just love bri to find a job where he is paid his worth & recognized for how hard he works.
okay -- i will stop – i could write a novel about this & how it contributed to my need for wellbutrin.
*fake smile*

so there ya have it – no shame in my game!
what do ya need to get off your ta-ta’s?!?!
spill it…
then cross your eyes, make the sign of the devil horns, and drink a double hail bloody mary and all is forgiven…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.9

day 68:
happy friday bloggywood!

wow what a fuckin’ awesome week this has been – like the complete polar opposite of last week.
clearly i reside in the bizarro world!

but let’s get to it – i lost 2lbs this week!
yeah, like completing 30 day shred & havin’ a great dressing room experience wasn’t awesome enough? now i had to go off and have a great weigh-in too?
seriously a great week!
in keeping with the good news – lemme share some cool shit i stumbled upon this week.

meet 75 (no that is not a typo) ernestine shepherd– (link takes you to an awesome article about her) a marathon running, body-building grandmother who can bench press 150 lbs.!
yes, consider me officially wowed.
i dunno her but i love her because clearly she rocks balls!
this is where i wanna be @ 75!

now… meet 30 year old jay wornick (another kickass article) who lost an amazing 191lbs in a bet with his wife to see who could lose the most weight in a year.
i am guessing he won?
heh
and he did it strictly with exercise & a healthy diet – go figure!

and lookie what comes out december 6th!
you can preorder here & read a really informative review here. this particular workout kicks it up a notch by making the workouts around 50 minutes each. per jillian michaels you still get the kickass cardo & strength training combo woven in with martial arts & yoga!
yes santa please!
perhaps this may be a future giveaway?!?!

definitely que'ed in my mind for future 30 day challenges!

that’s all the good news i got other than this reminder: don’t forget to link up… all sites, media, posts, & even giveaways welcome!

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>





peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn