something radical...

day 128:
happy biggest loser tuesday bloggerville!
will you be watching tonight?
i will!

so i did something radical today…
i got a wild hair up my bum & decided to run.
now lemme backtrack a bit…
during my 3rd attempt @ weight watchers (about a year & a half ago) & when i was utilizing walking as my only form of exercise – i decided i wanted to try & run. i got about 6 weeks into the c25k (couch to 5k) program & had an *encounter* with a dog. i was physically unharmed but i let it totally derail me mentally. although i have my suspicions that i more likely used it as an excuse to quit because i was REALLY struggling…
anywho – ever since then the desire to run has never left me but has TOTALLY eluded me. it’s one of those things i really wanna do for some reason yet am terrified to really put myself out there for.
i have written about it before even here on this blog.

as i said, today i gotta wild hair.
i have been thinking about it a lot lately & today i asked myself what the frig i was waiting for? what is the worst thing that can happen? i am not able to run very far or very fast? well duh… of course i won’t. but i will never be that runner i envision myself being if i don’t get my ass out there.
so i got dressed, opened my front door, and decided i would just run until i couldn’t run anymore.
i ran 1.4 miles!
i was winded & my legs felt like jello but by golly i was freakin’ running.
i ever surpassed these two walkers & i have to admit that made me feel like the shit!
heh!
so it’s a start & further than i have ever run – even when i was doing c25k!
i am 3 ½ months away from turning 42 but i am telling you – i am in the best shape of my life & feel better than i EVER have!
it truly is never too late to change your life!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

c'mon baby re-light my fire...

day 123:
happy weigh-in eve blogdom!
(does anyone else feel that way about the day before your designated weigh-in?)

so in case you have had your head buried in the sand for the past week – everywhere you look it’s all about losing weight, getting fit, new year; new you – all that jazz. and i love every second of it. if the 1st day of a new year is what you need to get motivated then yay for you! i commend anyone who takes any step, no matter how small, to changing their life! those of us already on that journey know how hard it is!
which brings me to the topic at hand.
i have also noticed a lot of self-doubt, lack of motivation, people still caught in the holiday rut, & frustration out there in blogdom & beyond.
for those of us already in this – we don’t have the luxury of that *newness* that amps us up those first few days, weeks & months. a lot of us (self included) are kind of in a rut – both with food & exercise.
i am still doing it – but maybe not with the same flare & gumption that i had just a few short weeks ago & i feel some self-doubt floating around in there – eating away @ my motivation.
boo fuckin’ hiss!
i was hitting the gym a few times a week for some extra cardio on top of my daily jillian workouts & that hasn’t happened in weeks due to everyone’s crazy retail work schedules & babysitting issues. but ummm xmas was almost 2 weeks ago & everyone’s schedule has gone back to normal… so what exactly is my excuse?
yeah that’s what i thought – i ain’t got one!
and ya know what – fuck that noise!
just because it isn’t my official day one doesn’t mean that i can’t get re-amped & focused like a mofo again! i am gonna do something(s) different & make it like a day one & get that flare & gumption back!
with that being said…
here is some motivation & definitely some things to think about!
relight that fire & love yourselves out there!
we deserve it!












that's right!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

a reflection on 2011: the year i got selfish!

day:118

so this is the dilly – 2011 started out like 2010 which started out like 2009 & so on & so on.
big ambitions & very little motivation.
i can sit here & list a bazillion reasons but ultimately i believe that my inability to be okay with putting myself 1st has been my downfall all along.
no really – hear me out.

this year my life, my health, my sanity, my relationships, & my overall well being were in jeopardy.
i hit a wall with so many things & was left feeling overwhelmed & defeated in just about every aspect of my life!
after years of trying to self-medicate with just about every form (mainly food) possible -- i finally realized that i needed help with my depression & i needed to make that a priority.
i know it’s cliché but admitting ya got issues truly is the 1st step to recovery.
and girlfriend (that be me) be drownin’ in her own shit & shit!

once i got over the depression hurdle that is when i had an epiphany – i cannot be the best mom, partner, friend, daughter, & human being until i am okay with ME. and i cannot be okay with ME until i make ME the top priority in my life over EVERYTHING else.
and I mean EVERYTHING -- kids, spouses, partners, friends, relatives, jobs, faith, commitments – all of it!
all those things you put ahead of yourself no matter what because you believe that is how to show your love & devotion, what is expected of you, makes you a better person, & we (especially women) are taught that being selfish about ourselves is a bad thing.
and sorry kiddos but doing all of this will NOT EVER lead to true happiness.
life is too effin’ short to be unhappy – so i decided to be happy.
that’s when i kicked it into high gear & made some decisions that changed everything…
i left my job -- the work environment was toxic on so many levels & no amount of money is worth being miserable every single fucking day! could we afford it? helllll to the no! but i also couldn’t afford to loathe something so much that i wanted to punch something or someone hard. really hard!

and i rejoined weight watchers – i decided that i am worth the added expense, time, effort & energy it takes to truly commit to weight loss & getting fit.

just those two vital decisions & how they bettered my world transcended into other bigger/smaller decisions & actions that have made my life increasinly happy!
and when mama’s happy – EVERYONE is happy!
truly.

in 2012 – i plan to keep it rollin’ & continue on my current path. i will never be that girl again – the one who lets life come 1st .
i come 1st no matter what!
and anyone who doesn’t like it can kindly step to the left & fuck off.

peace, love, & toasts to a fuckin’ fabulous 2012!
xxoo
cyn

**** disclaimer – i am in NO WAY telling anyone to run out & quit their job or to do anything drastic for that matter. i am only relaying my life experiences & what changes helped me. and as always i recommend EVERYONE see their doctor before beginning ANY weight loss/diet/exercise regimen!

ninety freakin' days

day 90:
ninety freakin’ days blogdom!

this was me 90 days ago – sick & tired of being overweight, frustrated, sad, tired, and uncomfortable in my own skin…

here i am today -- yeah, posing in this hideous (what was i thinking? oh yeah, i know -- it fit!) little dress in december – 90 days later – 16.2 lbs lighter, many inches smaller, stronger, healthier, determined, & happy. i am not the same girl from the inside out!

my journey is far from over – just beginning really but it’s amazing what 90 days can do to change your life -- because it is never too late to change your life!
i have learned so much on this quest (yeah, i said quest heh) – some of which i shared after completing the 30 day shred (which changed my life). but the one thing that still rings true is this…
i can do anything!
no really; anything!
and if i can – then anyone fuckin’ can!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

oh & don’t forget to link up to the no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- all links, giveaways, hops welcome – cause i am cool like that!

weigh-in vol.11

day 82:
black friday bloggy l♥ve!

before i get down to biz – just an fyi – i will not be posting a *no more muffin top weekend hop* this week due to holiday & all. but it will be back next friday – bigger and badass-er than eva!

in the meantime – here are some other kickass hops to link up to!

here is my friday funny contribution:

indeed -- heh heh!

so onto the subject @ hand – my weigh-in.
i gained 1.8lbs. – the 1st significant gain since i rejoined w8 watchers 12 weeks ago.
am i happy about it?
of course not – but i am trying to think of it as not a *real* gain. i ate a lot of salty, heavy foods yesterday that i normally wouldn’t eat & add on the fact that i am pms’n like a mofo & well 1.8lbs isn’t that bad.
i was prepared for a gain so i am taking it in stride & quite well.
besides gains are part of the process & only fuel my fire to have a better week!
keeping that better week in mind -- my hunny & i are starting this challenge today…
we are aiming for 21 days (rumor has it that is how long it takes to formulate new habits) & here is the list of goodies we are steering clear from…
athough i personally do not see anything overly bad about natural peanut butter & i rarely eat it – so it is not on of my list of no-no foods.
i am not even remotely religious but i just did the sign of the cross & said a mini-prayer to the healthy food gods & goddesses to give me strength as i am a bonafide junkfood junkie!
no really – i am & have been known to skip entire meals in lieu of chips & dip and/or ding dongs with a m&m chaser.
yeah – i am that bad & even 12 weeks in i struggle with my junkfood addiction!
but i am giving it a whirl & i am of the type that if i set my mind to something – i generally achieve it.

why am i setting limitations & depriving myself?
because…



i am ready to have the healthy eating habits to go along with my newfound fitness habits & eating cleaner has been a goal of mine since day 1.
does that mean a snicker bar or dorito will never pass these lips?
ummm no – nor would i want to live a life without fun foods.
but i need to detox & concentrate on fueling my body with healthier foods!
plus i wanna make it through one holiday season at least maintaining & not on the plus side! last year i gained about 7lbs between thanksgiving & xmas & i do want a repeat performance or the tight britches that goes with it.
i fucking love the person i am becoming & am willing to do whatever it takes to aid that new rockin’ chica in any & all efforts.
i am worth the sacrifices!

well i truly hope you all made it through black friday physically unharmed – i know your psyche has to be a bit warped – i warned ya bitches be pepper spray wielding crazy!
(isn’t that just fuckin’ sad – i hope that psychopath gets the book slammed at her but good!)

i stayed home today – no sale was worth it. i have the patience of a flea & there isn’t enough wellbutrin in the universe to convince me to go shopping on this hellish day!

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

one tough bitch...

day 74:
‘ello blogga-hood!

can you believe i was in bed & asleep by 8pm last night?
while it is nice that i got a massive amount (10 freakin’ hours) of sleep – it also a wee bit lame-o…
but in my defense – this week has sorta been a struggle – and it fuckin’ pisses me off when i feel less than a 100%!
between the knee issue & my need to stuff my face non-stop – i swear the battle wears me down.
do you ever feel like this is more of a battle than a journey?

i know it is part of the process – but what the holy heck?
it suckeths i do protest!
tomorrow is my weigh-in/meeting & despite the struggle – i am not worried.
weird aye?
especially with all my pissed off/lame-o/sucketh talk…
yes -- it is a battle – but i think (the operative word here) i am winning – so that is the good news @ least.
i started level 2 on the ripped in 30 yesterday – umm yeah, thanks jillian for kicking my ass across the living room & back.
definitely harder & i am so glad i did the 30 day shred before even thinking about this one. but such an awesome workout – i was sweating buckets & i needed that!
i still sit in awe in all i have accomplished in these past 39 days…

anywho…
so i have been doing some research on a new workout/running shoe.
in my mind i am thinking of going ultra light –like these reebok realflex – in purple no less!
but as a non-experienced runner i wonder if this is best?
i would l♥ve some shoe feedback from the runners out there!
what are your faves & some selling points i should be on the lookout for?
any & all advice is sincerely appreciated!

i bid adieu with a little head start on…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
As usual – no rules – link up whatcha like – even giveaways cause I personally happen to lurve free shit!




peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.6

day: 47
holla blogga’s!

super stoked – had my weekly weight watcher meeting/weigh-in today & i lost 3 lbs!
*naked cartwheels bitches*
that brings me to 11.8 lbs. total lost & i surpassed my 5% (of total body weight) gonzers.
can i get a what? what?
so umm yeah, pretty freakin’ happy!
(myself & my daughter skylar @ the library today)

i had a feelin’ i was gonna have a good weigh-in – i worked out super hard this past week between the gym and the 30 day shred (details in the tab below my header) of course. and all i can say is that i effin’ l♥ve jillian michaels.
no seriously – i do!

i have never in my life worked out as hard as i am now & it proves the things she (jillian that is – i can call her jillian like i know her now that i am 12 days into her insane workout) says -- which i always thoughts were a hock of hooey & so cheesy.
it is mind over matter & if you put the effort into, you can do anything.
i have pushed myself through soreness, exhaustion, and a testy teenager who is on my last friggen nerve this week with his piss-poor know-it-all attitude (another post for another time).
but everyday i have that constant of knowing that i am going to do the 30 day shred & focus solely on me! and i may be wrong, but i just might finally be getting that workout *high* that i have read about. i think i found my exercise niche – weights/circuit training. who knew?

as i said, i am on day 12 and jumped up to level 2 yesterday.
in a word – wow.
definitely more intense & a lot of plank (in the push-up position) exercises which are just insane & oh-so-hard! by the end i look like i walked across the fuckin’ sahara desert & back!
once again i feel like i have worked muscles that have been dormant since probably 5th grade & just about everything minus maybe my left eyebrow hurts.
oddly – today did seem a little easier than yesterday.
heh.

regardless, i am not giving up -- plus can you believe that monday is the half-way point? i will be posting photos & measurements too - i am super curious what the measurements reveal.

so yeah – minus teenage drama & some soreness – i am super diggin’ life!
i caught a reflection of myself in a glass window today while out & about & for the first time in too long to remember i didn’t want to turn and run away screaming! not to toot my own horn (yeah right i am a wicked bragger from way back) but i actually liked what i saw! that is progress bitches!

just a reminder – don’t forget to link up…

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bbbUtlcUdrk/TmujeaFBe6I/AAAAAAAAH38/DKYXFNyjZdE/s300/nomoremuffintophop.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>



spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.5

day: 41
howdy blog-o-sphere!

gotta make this a super quickie – wicked busy day & i actually have plans for the evening. yeah two weekends in a row – look out lindsay lohan; there’s a new (well old) party girl in town.
heh!

anywho…
so i had weigh-in yesterday and lost a whopping (hold onto your seats) .2 lbs.
yeah – as in 2/10 th of a pound.

i admit i wanted more – but i had a feeling it would be mediocre or even a gain. seems like everytime i turn up my workouts (did 30 day shred & additional circuit training @ the gym) i stall or gain?
and ya know what…
i am okay with it.
(do ya see my mini-muscle forming – thankin’ you jillian michaels)
i know i am on the right path because i feel ah-fuckin-may-zing!
i feel strong, empowered, and even thinner.
yeah thinner!
when jillian tells me to *suck my abs in tight* -- i can actually feel my belly moving. do you know how long it has been since i could do that? sure my belly has had movement – but the jiggly not-so-fun kinda movement. this was actual willed movement & by gawd i sucked that shit in!
w00t w00t mofo’s!

small baby steps – because it’s all good in the hood – i got my entire life to get there and to be happy & healthy & back into my jeans!
i am not asking to be a size 2 – i just wanna be in a healthy bmi range & feel good in my skin again. i love havin’ some curves & rockin’ a sexy boo-tay! and i never wanna lose that part of me.
because you can be a chunky goddess and rock it – and i will!
i might even now?

well luvies – i must run. i got eat some din-din & get my tailfeathers in gear to get cute to go out. i am wearing this cute little dress that i can finally fit into tonight.
w00t w00t w00t mofo’s!

oh btw – i am still going strong with the 30 day shred (read all about it in the tab above) but i had to share my new kicks.
($20 on clearance @ tjmaxx – score!)
ya know i have never owned a pair of nike’s or any other name brand sport shoe for that matter. lawd knows my kids own tennies that cost more than my entire outfit – but i don’t mind buying them nice things. but why not myself? why do i not deserve some nice kicks that are actually designed to make your workout/exercise experience the best & most comfy it can be?
fuck yeah i deserve that!
so i got them @ a wicked good deal -- but baby steps my friends!
we all deserve whatever it takes to make us feel good and make whatever journey we may be on be the best & most comfy it can be!

don’t forget to join the no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- i will be back tomorrow to follow everyone back and send out some bloggy l♥ve of my own!
spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn


(click & vote pretty please with sugar on top)

i ♥ jillian michaels

day: 36
‘ello blog-o-sphere!

wowie – i feel like it’s been forever & a freakin’ day since i have sat down to just run my trap on here. this past weekend was busy & just completely got away from me. plus i fully admit that i kinda checked out in regards to a lot of the healthier habits i have been forming lately.
i didn’t make it to the gym once all weekend…
boo-hiss @ me!

no excuse either – well other than that wicked hangover i had on saturday and homecoming for my son (check out his pics here) that same night. all of which aren’t the best reasons to miss the gym all weekend.
but as much as i don’t want to admit this – my nite out kicked my ass.
(just so fuckin’ sad…)

but today i kick it back into gear.
and i have decided to kick it up a notch by doing jillian michaels 30 day shed (as well as hit the gym & continue on weight watchers).

<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KMkYvxuNoHA/TpNEigF3blI/AAAAAAAAItU/seLzK0_EqkI/s300/jillian-michaels-bullybutton.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

i will be making daily little posts in the *30 day shred* tab up yonder & i am hoping it keeps me accountable for this challenge.
and yes… i have been down this path before ealier this past summer– i believe i got to day 7 and i came up with some brilliant (at the time) reason to quit. tried it once more and quit once again for yet another brilliant (at the time) reason.

i do a lot of reading (mostly online) and most of what i have read and heard firsthand from peeps who have been on and succeeded @ the weight loss journey is that daily movement/exercise/activity (even just a 20 minute walk around the block) & portion control are the key! and i firmly believe that they go hand in hand and follow suit.
so i am concentrating on finding a way to be active every single day.
and yeah, maybe the 30 day shred is a pretty in-your-effin-face way to do it – but why do anything in your life half-assed?
i wanna be accountable and this is how i do it – by making a plan & bloggin’ my ass off about it…
heh!

and because i know peeps are curious – yes, the workout is kickass. the movements/exercises are nothing too extreme and each workout is only twenty minutes long – but it feels more intense & i sweat more than 45 minutes on the elliptical going 6.5mph.
so ummm yeah – it’s a crazy workout!
c’mon – what did ya expect from the queen of bust your nuts @ the gym – jillian michaels?
personally – i adore her!
how can you not?
amen jillian!

spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
xxoo
cyn


(click & vote pretty please with sugar on top)