Showing posts with label love thy self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love thy self. Show all posts

Thursday, January 5, 2012

c'mon baby re-light my fire...

day 123:
happy weigh-in eve blogdom!
(does anyone else feel that way about the day before your designated weigh-in?)

so in case you have had your head buried in the sand for the past week – everywhere you look it’s all about losing weight, getting fit, new year; new you – all that jazz. and i love every second of it. if the 1st day of a new year is what you need to get motivated then yay for you! i commend anyone who takes any step, no matter how small, to changing their life! those of us already on that journey know how hard it is!
which brings me to the topic at hand.
i have also noticed a lot of self-doubt, lack of motivation, people still caught in the holiday rut, & frustration out there in blogdom & beyond.
for those of us already in this – we don’t have the luxury of that *newness* that amps us up those first few days, weeks & months. a lot of us (self included) are kind of in a rut – both with food & exercise.
i am still doing it – but maybe not with the same flare & gumption that i had just a few short weeks ago & i feel some self-doubt floating around in there – eating away @ my motivation.
boo fuckin’ hiss!
i was hitting the gym a few times a week for some extra cardio on top of my daily jillian workouts & that hasn’t happened in weeks due to everyone’s crazy retail work schedules & babysitting issues. but ummm xmas was almost 2 weeks ago & everyone’s schedule has gone back to normal… so what exactly is my excuse?
yeah that’s what i thought – i ain’t got one!
and ya know what – fuck that noise!
just because it isn’t my official day one doesn’t mean that i can’t get re-amped & focused like a mofo again! i am gonna do something(s) different & make it like a day one & get that flare & gumption back!
with that being said…
here is some motivation & definitely some things to think about!
relight that fire & love yourselves out there!
we deserve it!












that's right!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Saturday, December 31, 2011

a reflection on 2011: the year i got selfish!

day:118

so this is the dilly – 2011 started out like 2010 which started out like 2009 & so on & so on.
big ambitions & very little motivation.
i can sit here & list a bazillion reasons but ultimately i believe that my inability to be okay with putting myself 1st has been my downfall all along.
no really – hear me out.

this year my life, my health, my sanity, my relationships, & my overall well being were in jeopardy.
i hit a wall with so many things & was left feeling overwhelmed & defeated in just about every aspect of my life!
after years of trying to self-medicate with just about every form
(mainly food) possible -- i finally realized that i needed help with my depression & i needed to make that a priority.
i know it’s cliché but admitting ya got issues truly is the 1st step to recovery.
and girlfriend
(that be me) be drownin’ in her own shit & shit!

once i got over the depression hurdle that is when i had an epiphany – i cannot be the best mom, partner, friend, daughter, & human being until i am okay with ME. and i cannot be okay with ME until i make ME the top priority in my life over EVERYTHING else.
and I mean EVERYTHING -- kids, spouses, partners, friends, relatives, jobs, faith, commitments – all of it!
all those things you put ahead of yourself no matter what because you believe that is how to show your love & devotion, what is expected of you, makes you a better person, & we
(especially women) are taught that being selfish about ourselves is a bad thing.
and sorry kiddos but doing all of this will NOT EVER lead to true happiness.
life is too effin’ short to be unhappy – so i decided to be happy.
that’s when i kicked it into high gear & made some decisions that changed everything…
i left my job -- the work environment was toxic on so many levels & no amount of money is worth being miserable every single fucking day! could we afford it? helllll to the no! but i also couldn’t afford to loathe something so much that i wanted to punch something or someone hard. really hard!

and i rejoined weight watchers – i decided that i am worth the added expense, time, effort & energy it takes to truly commit to weight loss & getting fit.

just those two vital decisions & how they bettered my world transcended into other bigger/smaller decisions & actions that have made my life increasinly happy!
and when mama’s happy – EVERYONE is happy!
truly.

in 2012 – i plan to keep it rollin’ & continue on my current path. i will never be that girl again – the one who lets life come 1st .
i come 1st no matter what!
and anyone who doesn’t like it can kindly step to the left & fuck off.

peace, love, & toasts to a fuckin’ fabulous 2012!
xxoo
cyn

**** disclaimer – i am in NO WAY telling anyone to run out & quit their job or to do anything drastic for that matter. i am only relaying my life experiences & what changes helped me. and as always i recommend EVERYONE see their doctor before beginning ANY weight loss/diet/exercise regimen!