thoughts on the biggest loser...

day 122:
hump day humps ya naughty bloggers you!

spoiler alert – because i will be talking about biggest loser in detail – so if ya have it dvr’d look away now!
so who watched the biggest loser last night?
i did for the 1st time in many seasons. last time i watched; jillian was still on & michael won – losing an astronomical 264lbs!
now ya’ll know i love jillian --- but the show itself lost it’s appeal.
maybe i am just an asshole but it got to be too dramatic for my tastes & it seemed like they were trying to push the unrealistic/unbelievable envelope by having bigger & bigger people on each season.
but even with that being said – the show is inspirational. i get inspired seeing anyone do things they never fathomed possible – like exercise, run marathons & lose hundreds of pounds.
i love that the trainers don’t give a fuck & push these people to their limits!
for those reasons -- i was compelled to watch this season.
(well that & because there isn’t jack shit on tv this time of year?)

so far (one whole episode – lol) it seems to be more like the show we all fell in love with the 1st couple of seasons. they have a mixture of contestants that range in various weights & ages.
good lawd, one of them even looks like santa claus ferfuxsake!
yeah, santa is on the biggest loser this year!
ya can’t help but to like him & his wife even but…
rant on: i was flabbergasted @ his wife – she is 42 (my age) & she looks like mrs. claus & easily in her 60s & all because she has a head full of gray hair???
unless your name is bonnie raitt & you just won your bazillionth grammy – gray ain’t cool! gray hair is just something that makes me insane.
why would any woman want to look older than she is??? go to walgreens, spend $6 on some miss clairol & cover that shit up! or better yet, take a day to hit the salon & have it done professionally—you’re worth it! rant over.

and i love the theme of this season: no excuses!
i think just about anyone on a weight loss journey can relate to that. i know i had my stockpile of standard excuses.

this is also my 1st time watching dolvett quince (who trained janet jackson & justin beiber btw before biggest loser) who used this phrase last night…
sure to be on bumper stickers & t-shirts before ya know it!
anywho…
finally some eye candy.
i love bob & would choose him a million times over dolvett but dolvett is ripped like a mofo.
holy shit is he ripped!

but bob is my heart – love him!
(not as much as jillian but i got mad love for him nonetheless)
he is my favorite vegan/yoga loving/tattooed/southern/sweet as pie but will kick your ass fella ever!

but let’s dish on ben – the guy who ASKED to be voted off the ranch.
sorry to say this but… he just got lumped into the *dickhead category* by millions of biggest loser fans. just a major no-no on that show.
whatever -- let him go!
but i love how when he was all woozy during his 1st workout & kinda went to la-la land & back – the determining factor was that he didn’t know who bob was.
ha!
“what? you don’t recognize bob harper?
oh you better rest a while!”

my faves so far (which could change at any given moment) – kim (pink/red team) -- the former professional wrestler.
no really, she was a wwe diva @ one time as well as a fitness model!
i am super curious to see if & how she gets back into shape!
(she is 5’8” like me too!)

hopefully i won’t tire of the show & will watch it faithfully & give my two cents throughout the season.
because i know you guys are just dyinnnnnng to know my opinion…
*insert sarcasm*

anywho – there ya have it – my half-assed thoughts!
mwahs to all the real biggest losers out there who live it every single day!
you know who you are!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

TO-DO list...

day 121:
howdy ho bloggy world!

so i have kinda been teetering with the idea of new year’s resolutions.
i know they are EVERYWHERE & mine aren’t that unique that i gotta make some ginormous production outta them.
so instead i will make a TO-DO LIST for 2012!

before i lay it on ya – i gotta say something. i feel like i am at an advantage over most peeps out there in the world. i am already living & tackling what is usually my top TO-DO’s!
lose weight
work out more
eat healthier
drink more water.
check. check. check. and check!
yay – that feels pretty fantabulous to be ahead of the game for a change!
so this year i thought i would write a more frivolous list that doesn’t focus on the same old stuff…
here goes…

the chunky goddess TO-DO LIST for 2012!
1. vlog. i have been thinking about it for some time & i think starting soon it will be a regular feature – you lucky ducks get to see my mug & hear me blab all live & shit!
2. experiment with my cooking more. i get in food ruts & can be quite lazy when it comes to cooking for myself. i need to get a little more adventurous so i do not get bored with the foods i am eating. i gotta a bazillion cool recipes pinned on pinterest – bout time i start cookin’ em up!
3. grow an herb garden & not kill it this year!
4. try at least one local vegan restaurant!
5. make it a point to keep in touch with all of my friends – phone calls, emails, whatever. i am such a lame-o friend lately…
6. take more videos. my camera takes beautiful 1080p hd quality movies – what the frig am i waiting for?
7. find a part-time job. i never thought i would still be looking but i am. and no, i in no way regret leaving my job & i may not be looking as hard as i should either…
8. hire a personal trainer to take me to the next level where weight training is concerned! i wanna be ripped – not in a chyna/steroid/horse face sorta way – but i want some definition & peeps to know i am an ass-kick workout fiend!
9. be more spiritual – i am fallen off my path a bit & i am missing that magical feeling.
10. always trust my gut – it has never steered me wrong!
i am late on the resolution/intentions/goals/TO-DO list ball so i won’t ask the obvious – but i will ask what one frivolous thing that has nothing to do with weight loss do you hope to do this year?

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

tagged

day:120
i got tagged…

i know some people hate these sorta things & moan & groan about them – but i fuckin’ love this shit!
so when the ever-lovely-yet-kickass rachel from because i have to -- one of my fave blogs of all time & the winner of my 1st ever (and only) giveaway – tagged me – i was happy to oblige!
so here goes…

here are the rules:
1. post these rules.
2. you must post 11 random things yourself.
3. answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post.
4. cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer.
5. go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.
6. no stuff in the tag­ging sec­tion about ‘you are tagged if you are read­ing this.’ blah blah blah, you legit­i­mately have to tag 11 peeps!

even an easily befuddled bitch like me can handle that…

11 (more) random things about me:
1. i love the ufc but don’t let brian know how much i really like it otherwise it would be the only thing we ever watched… heh!
2. my name (cynthia) means *moon goddess* & i love that
3. i would get plastic surgery and/or botox in a new york minute if i could afford it & screw anyone who thinks its vain. damn right it’s vain & i totally own that shit all day long!
4. i was born in memphis, tn
5. when i was a kid i was convinced i was adopted & threatened to pack my holly hobby mini-suitcase & run away to find my *real family* all the time -- true story.
6. i own about 75 pairs of shoes (and i recently downsized!) – all heels (4” & higher) minus one pair of uggs & my workout shoes. even my flip-flops got height!
7. my super power is that i am a human lie detector – ask my kids & all my ex-boyfriends… lol!
8. i never had a date all through high school – i was just so insecure & shy. i completely changed the summer after i graduated high school – i dropped some weight & let my hair grow long & suddenly had more self-esteem than one 18 year old gal should have… heh!
9. i never thought i would have kids – let alone 3! now i wish we could have more!
10. i have been a photography freak since i was 10 years old & got my 1st camera – the instamatic with the cube flashbulbs! i used to take pictures of my cats & the neighborhood dogs… lol!
11. i am mere months from turning 42 & STILL dunno what I wanna be when i grow up & it pisses me the fuck off!


11 questions from rachel…
1.what is your favorite midnight snack? i try to not eat too-too late but i am a total evening grazer & usually it’s either popcorn or cereal!
2.if you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? the four seasons hotel in bora bora – look @ these private villas! who wouldn't want to be here???3.what is your favorite movie from your childhood? anything disney – my parents would always take my brother & i to see whatever disney movie was out @ the drive-in – this was way before vcr’s & dvd’s – when you actually HAD to go to the movies to see a film.
4.do you have any tattoos, and if not do you want to get one? i have 4 tattoos & am dying for some new ink – i want something elaborate & pretty big!
5.what is one food that you will not eat under any circumstances? i am a southern gal at heart but i will never eat grits – ewwwww!
6.current obsession? stripes! especially black & white & if they are chevron i am even happier!
7.favorite smell? i love the smell of coconut! it makes me think of summer & warm tropical places with ginormous pina coladas!
8.something that gives you the giggles every time you see it. i am such a sucker for those stupid text convo’s you see all over the place. i know some are fake but they crack me the fuck up – especially the *when parents text* ones… heh!
9.what is your favorite flavor of ice cream? coffee – yum! when they come out with an awesome vegan version i will be happier than doo-dah!
10.what is your favorite brand of lingerie? i love the marilyn monroe intimates line – it’s a modern take on vintage styled lingerie & it fits marvelously! a lot of leopard print in this line & i am ALL about that – matter of fact i am wearing a leopard & black bra by them now!
11.are you wearing shoes right now? yup – my awesome purple & grey saucony’s that i ♥ so freakin’ much!

The 11 lucky buggars I am taggin’…
1. ellen from from flab to fab
2. maren from from cow to wow
3. kerry from curly girl
4. bailey from the middle
5. helly from fat girl slim
6. miss april from 30 before 30
7. gillian from a daft scots lass
8. jennifer from finding my way in texas
9. alana from fractured fairy tales
10. miss mama from mommy bags
11. susan from 75% hippie

my 11 questions to you!
1. what is your middle name & the story behind it?
2. what is the best concert/show you have ever been to?
3. favorite perfume/body spray?
4. would you ever have plastic surgery & if so what would you have done?
5. what is your biggest fear?
6. who do think is the most annoying celebrity right now?
7. who is the funniest person you know?
8. favorite disney princess?
9. someone (other than spouse/partner) that just melts your butter big time?
10. favorite form of exercise?
11. what is your dream profession?

there ya go – hope ya have fun with it & no worries if ya don’t play along!
merry monday bloggers!
peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

well hello 2012

day 119:
well hello 2012!

this is gonna be a quickie but…
i wanted to at least say merry 2012 to you fabulous peeps out there in the blogosphere!

me & ange -- my bff of 20 years! we have rang in many a new year & it was awesome celebrating with her last night!
(my sexypants hunny -- brian. he's a hottie huh?)

i partied like a rock star last night & let it be re-established that i cannot hang.
i dunno why i even try?
heh.
(at least my shoes were kickin’ ass & takin’ names last night!)

and yes i felt like ass today & i made less than stellar food choices due to being a wee bit hungover – but i tracked every filthy morsel and i made myself workout tonight after an enormous internal battle over should i or shouldn’t i…
for the record – i always should!
and i am glad i did!

i am welcoming 2012 with open arms & an open mind & just happy to be where i am & that life is becoming increasingly better & better by the day!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
*** if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander @ the rest of my new year’s eve photos & more --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

a reflection on 2011: the year i got selfish!

day:118

so this is the dilly – 2011 started out like 2010 which started out like 2009 & so on & so on.
big ambitions & very little motivation.
i can sit here & list a bazillion reasons but ultimately i believe that my inability to be okay with putting myself 1st has been my downfall all along.
no really – hear me out.

this year my life, my health, my sanity, my relationships, & my overall well being were in jeopardy.
i hit a wall with so many things & was left feeling overwhelmed & defeated in just about every aspect of my life!
after years of trying to self-medicate with just about every form (mainly food) possible -- i finally realized that i needed help with my depression & i needed to make that a priority.
i know it’s cliché but admitting ya got issues truly is the 1st step to recovery.
and girlfriend (that be me) be drownin’ in her own shit & shit!

once i got over the depression hurdle that is when i had an epiphany – i cannot be the best mom, partner, friend, daughter, & human being until i am okay with ME. and i cannot be okay with ME until i make ME the top priority in my life over EVERYTHING else.
and I mean EVERYTHING -- kids, spouses, partners, friends, relatives, jobs, faith, commitments – all of it!
all those things you put ahead of yourself no matter what because you believe that is how to show your love & devotion, what is expected of you, makes you a better person, & we (especially women) are taught that being selfish about ourselves is a bad thing.
and sorry kiddos but doing all of this will NOT EVER lead to true happiness.
life is too effin’ short to be unhappy – so i decided to be happy.
that’s when i kicked it into high gear & made some decisions that changed everything…
i left my job -- the work environment was toxic on so many levels & no amount of money is worth being miserable every single fucking day! could we afford it? helllll to the no! but i also couldn’t afford to loathe something so much that i wanted to punch something or someone hard. really hard!

and i rejoined weight watchers – i decided that i am worth the added expense, time, effort & energy it takes to truly commit to weight loss & getting fit.

just those two vital decisions & how they bettered my world transcended into other bigger/smaller decisions & actions that have made my life increasinly happy!
and when mama’s happy – EVERYONE is happy!
truly.

in 2012 – i plan to keep it rollin’ & continue on my current path. i will never be that girl again – the one who lets life come 1st .
i come 1st no matter what!
and anyone who doesn’t like it can kindly step to the left & fuck off.

peace, love, & toasts to a fuckin’ fabulous 2012!
xxoo
cyn

**** disclaimer – i am in NO WAY telling anyone to run out & quit their job or to do anything drastic for that matter. i am only relaying my life experiences & what changes helped me. and as always i recommend EVERYONE see their doctor before beginning ANY weight loss/diet/exercise regimen!

weigh-in vol.16

day 117:
tee gee eye eff blogdom!
wow can ya believe how fast this week has flown by?
wasn’t it just xmas eve & here we are on the cusp of new year’s eve.
eeesh time – slow up a bit!

so today was weigh-in/meeting & while i am doing what i do – i have indulged in a cookie or two (or five) this past week – along with some chocolates that just JUMPED into my mouth – don’t ya hate when that happens?
anywho – i was a wee bit nervous. not that i felt like i had gained – i felt great actually – but being the weigh-in after xmas – who knows?
well, i lost 1.8lbs!
wow, just wow!
i have never lost weight around xmas.
never EVER!

last year i gained 7-8lbs in the month or so between thanksgiving & xmas – this year i lost 10.2lbs.
yeah, TEN effin’ pounds!

I am down a total of 23.2 lbs!
Yay!

honestly i owe it to a couple of things…
the sweet tooth challenge…
recommitting to veganism…
tracking every day, every morsel, no matter what!
and
daily (yes, every single day) without fail exercise (my jillian michaels dvds) – even on xmas!

another coolio thing – we got a new meeting locale.
they closed down two locations & brought us all together is one brandy-new, bigger, modern, AWESOME location! (right next door to trader joe’s i might add – s w o o n!)
thankfully i still have the same awesome leader – seems like everyone else got shuffled except for the friday morning & early afternoon meeting peeps.
phew because i flip-flop between the two depending on bri’s work schedule!
i would hate to have to switch leaders!

any of my other weight watcher junkies get a new center????
or are we just über blessed?

tomorrow night brian & i are actually heading out for new year’s eve – for the 1st time EVER together.
no really – we have never been out together for new year’s eve -- we have been pregnant or raising a baby – but now we are ready to rejoin the adult world for one evening.
we are going to my best gal’s house for a little soirree & we are happier than doo-dah about it!
we don’t get out much & never together – one of us is usually home with skylar – but my mom is babysitting – so look the fuck out 2012!

what are your plans for nye?
partyin’ down or on the down low?

well kiddos i gotta get off my ass – i gotta hot date with jillian & my dvd player!

don’t forget to link up!

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as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
that’s it – easy peasy!





peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- vol.14

day 116:
thirsty thursday bloggers & welcome to…

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as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
rockin’ the hop button is always nice & i über appreciate all of you that do!
and if ya find a new blog that blows your skirt up – be sure to leave them a comment saying you are a new follower & tell them ya found them on *the no more muffin top* hop.
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

ps.
i love you all.
the comments you left me on my last post just made me smile – you get it & you get me!
yay!
sorry i didn’t reply personally – i am just so unorganized for time this week?

the media sucks

day 114:
tuesday tidings bloggerhood!

so i have to make an observation…
(and a bitchfest too while i am at it)
xmas night – as in xmas not even being officially over – we were hangin’ out watching some random movie that wasn’t even xmas-y (that is a whole other rant for another time – how tv SUCKS @ xmas time now) & the fuckin’ media is already on our asses about losing weight for the new year.

they are a smart bunch those fuckin’ media types.
they know that the numero uno resolution for most americans will be to lose weight/get in shape. it’s been my numero uno for 20 years at least!
so sure as shit – there is a slimmer janet jackson with her soft melodic voice shoving nutri-system down our throats.
special k had ads out the whazoo…
i saw a couple for slimfast…
and let’s not forget my least favorite ad – mariah carey for jenny craig. (oops i mean *jenny* as they are calling themselves nowadays in an effort to promote change & to be more “holistic with a simpler approach to dieting” -- their words – not mine)
i am sorry but mariah carey is so fucking annoying standing in her sheet/bandeau/whatever strategically wrapped around her seemingly thinner body whilst flippin’ her hair around. she used to be so awesome & somehow she became trashy & gross & she is the last person i would look to for any inspiration! and normally ANY woman willing to give childbirth a whirl around age 40 instantly gets my respect – but she has even made that experience trashy?
i will stop now…

i am not dissin’ these weight loss company’s just because I happen to love weight watchers (because it works using REAL food & without deprivation) – if they help people get to a healthy weight in a healthy way – cool beans by me!
but if you think that i believe for a nano second that superstars like janet & mariah used nutri-system or jenny to get back into shape -- then ya got another thing coming!
they have a TEAM of people who make them who they are – and none of them are named jenny…
but that is neither here nor there.

my biggest grievance is the fact that xmas wasn’t even over & already the media is back in our brains picking away to ultimately pick our wallets!
because trust me – they don’t care if we are overweight & unhealthy – they just want our moola in one way or another.
and you know this WHOLE week will be flooded with these commericals!

i think losing weight, gaining health & getting fit SHOULD be a top priority & resolution if that is something you want.
but how you choose to do so is really very personal because we gotta get our heads in the right place before ever having any success no matter what method you use.
where are the ads for that?
everything is about ease, speed & efficiency – and sorry but those words do not exist in the realm of sustaining long term weight loss!
it is hard…
takes time…
and is never efficient – at least not for me – i gotta move heaven & earth some days to get my workouts in & to come up with new & interesting ways to eat healthy so i don’t die of food boredom!

sorry to go off on a huge tangent…
basically it irks me that getting healthy has become so commericalized like everything else in the world.
okay wait correction – i can handle the commericialization IF it were all valid.
we have so much ineffective measures & misleading information out there that it is no wonder we are progressively becoming a nation of obese people raising a generation of children who will undoubtedly be even more obese than us.

don’t believe the hype!
be informed…
consult your doctor…
and more importantly be realistic – if it sounds too good to be true – it is!

and ummm fuckin’ media types – let us digest one holiday before choking us with the next expenditure! xmas day/night should be – dare i say – sacred & off limits?
but that’s just my two (okay maybe more like ten) cents!

any thoughts?
am i alone in thinking this?

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander at my xmas photos & more --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

holiday survival 101

day 113:
happy *we-made-it-through-another-xmas* blogdom!
i hope your holiday was a fabu as mine.
santa was very good to us – but he always is!

(here i am @ xmas dinner)

i feel good about my eating – i ate what i wanted within the restrictions of being vegan – counted my points (i opted to track over the weekend in lieu of simply filling) – and other than a random cookie (okay those weren’t vegan – oops – but i am not gonna sweat one egg between 24 freakin’ cookies) – i was good.
oh and i did my shred-it workout– even on xmas.
so pffffft to gaining weight.
just not in my plans this year.

so i gotta share a NSV (non scale victory)…
my mom bought me clothes for xmas this year – she always does & oddly even though our styles are on the polar opposite spectrum of one another – she usually picks out great stuff for me!
but i digress…

so she buys me an outfit & i am looking at it & the pants (black cashmere boyfriend jeans that are to.die.for i might add) are a junior size 11!
up to this point i am fitting into jr. size 13’s & a random size 12 on a good day – so i told her she had way too much faith in me to buy me 11’s.
oh & a size medium shirt!
a medium!?!?!
i haven’t worn a medium or a size smaller than a 13 & the random 12 since jr. high school – no shit!
maybe even elementary school now that i think about it!

but do ya know they fit?!?!
i can wear 11’s & a size medium!
woa…

not only is this a NSV but an eye-opening moment for me.
i think when your weight has fluctuated from chunky to thick to big to fat your whole life since puberty it is really hard to wrap your head around the fact that you may slowly but surely becoming the not-so-chunky/thick/big/fat girl anymore.
but it is hard.
in my head i am NOT a size 11 & certainly not a medium -- i am still a 18/20 & XL/XXL…
but she also bought me two pairs of workout shorts with matching tees – ALL size medium & they ALL fit.
so it wasn’t some fluke…
woa…
it will probably take me some time to accept that i am doing this & the results of my hard work are starting to show in ways that even i cannot fathom.
bizarro & yet so fuckin’ cool!

so how is everyone?
how was your holiday?
lay it on me!
share your nsv’s & success stories – i love to hear them as they inspire me to stay on plan!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

weigh-in vol.15 & 16 weeks

day 110:
merry xmas eve eve blogosphere!

so i had a blast last night!

good peeps & tons of laughs – i mean that’s what it’s all about.
and ya know how i swore up & down that i wouldn’t be drinking?
yeah epic fail on that.
BUT…
in my defense – it was at brian’s urging that i relax a little & have a drink if i wanted – so i did.
and i wanted a few!

i can be quite extreme – i am just an all or nothing kind of gal. but he is right – one night out with friends – something i rarely do – is not going to derail all my hard work.
BUT…
it took every bit of me not to raid the fridge when i got home last night & i was famished ALL day today.
pffffft!

but let’s get to my weigh-in.
i had a bad feeling about my weigh-in – not that i have had a bad week – i have stuck to my usual diet & exercising daily – but we went out to eat twice this week & then last night’s adventure.
so imagine my surprise when i lost .4lbs!
not a ginormous amount but a loss nonetheless & i will gladly take it!

this time of year i am content to maintain – so a loss is fan-fuckin-tabulous!

and i got this beauty today...
my 16 week charm!
i have been a weight watcher member & attending my meetings/weigh-in's faithfully for 16 weeks!
w00ts!

and why the big deal about 16 weeks?
well studies show that sticking it out for 16 weeks leads to further commitment & long-time success!
now that's what i'm talking about!

i haven't set any number related goals since i rejoined weight watchers 16 weeks ago EXCEPT to at least stick it out for 16 weeks & not miss a weigh-in and/or meeting no matter what!
i am super proud to say i did just that!

well that's all i got kiddos – i gotta get hot & start wrapping all my gifts!
yeah; ALL my gifts!
yikes!

oh & don’t forget to link up:

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as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops! jump/hop/skip/whatever around & meet new peeps with kickass blogs! leave them a comment to say hi & that ya found them via the no more muffin top hop!
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn