Friday, September 23, 2011

weigh-in vol.2

day: 19

yo blog-o-sphere!

so i am just gonna spill it.
i had my meeting/weigh-in today and i gained.
yeah…
i effin’ gained!
.4 lbs
(yeah as in 4/10’s a pound) which is squat but a gain nonetheless.
:sigh:

now i am gonna rant for a bit but please understand that it just me venting – i am not detoured – if anything i am even more of a mission to do this shit!

i can handle a gain – it is part of the process…
but i would handle it a lot better if i hadn’t worked my balls to nubs in the gym earning 48 freakin activity points – which is more than i would earn in a whole month the prior two times i was on weight watchers.
also… if i had been jammin’ twinkies down my throat – i would be okay with a little gain. but i ate within my points and 89% of the time i ate clean.
and my head was so in the game because so much of this is mental.
look at me on my way to my meeting…


(ignore the trash can – ew!)
head totally in the game & i am feeling pretty damn good – fully psyched to get on the scale because i am just convinced i have lost this week again.

wrong!
i was shocked when the receptionist told me i had gained and she could see the shock on my face and says
“not what you were expecting?”
umm hell fucking no…
then she asked if there was something i had done differently and i admittedly responded in a snarky voice
“yeah, worked my ass off at the gym.”
i am pretty sure i made her nervous and boo hiss to me for taking my gain out on the poor chica weighing me – whom of course has been me – all leaders and recptionist are lifetime members after all.
and it sucks when you gain – because then my head is instantly outta the game.
i am not paying attention to the meeting where i learn tools and tips to help me not gain again. tricia, my leader, asked me a question and i swear you could hear the crickets creaking – i hadn’t heard a word she had said.

and i won’t lie – i was pissssssed!
wait, correction… i was confused, frustrated, and pissssssssssssssssssed!
and then the self-doubt kicks in. i feel that old *you will always be overweight* defeated piss-poor voice in my head telling me to *fuck this shit*.
that same voice is telling me to screw the meeting and just stuff my face with taco bell because that will certainly make me feel better.
and yeah it will – won’t lie.
for about a nano second.
and then round two of *beat the piss outta yourself* starts.
it is a ridiculous vicious cycle – always finding mediocre ways to self-medicate that only compound the problems i am trying to ease in the first place.
yeah, i am over that!

so i got mad – really mad – then i decided to just accept it.
maybe it was a fluke?
maybe i didn’t drink enough water yesterday?
maybe it’s muscle gain?
maybe it’s the clothes?
my hair?
makeup?
maybe a butterfly flap it’s wings too hard ultimately causing the space-time continuum to tilt a little to the left in turn making my butt bigger?
heh – it could happen? no?

oh well – dusting my self off and moving the frig on.
i am going to the gym tonight and taking my frustrations out on the eliptical until that phucka cries…
:smirk:

i know we need to measure our success somehow and sadly with weight loss the scale does come into play – but i am telling ya – there is some truth to peeps who stay the heck away from the scale and go by how they feel and how their clothes fit. i was walking on sunshine until i stepped on that evil contraption…

don’t forget to join my weekend hop, spread the bloggy l♥ve, eat your veggies, and love yourself!
(you hear that cyn – love yourself cause you do rock!)
xxoo
cyn

ohhhhh -- and thank you thank you thank you for my 100+ followers. i wanted to have a giveaway @ 100 but i kinda let that get away from me. but no worries -- something in the works!


*** thanking google images unless noted***

15 comments:

Renee said...

girl you look Fab. LOL the scales lol

Camilleta said...

I definitely gained weight when I started working out! It's muscle weight. =)

Julie said...

For every 15 lbs of fat your lose you gain 3 lbs of muscle. That's what the lady at the gym says when I gained but my size lost.
I just spent the better part of the evening reading all your post (well lots of them I did). I found you from Java's 40 and over blog hop and glad I stopped by. I am following you cuz you made me laugh and enjoyed reading. Stop by if you wish, if I'm interesting follow me, if not don't feel bad, it's okay.
Take care and God Bless!!

Debs Dealz said...

Hey there, Debs Dealz stopping by to say hello! Don't worry about it. We all know how it is when we are dieting, you can gain, lose or plateau. Just think, your next weigh in will be even better. Remember you are in this for the marathon, not the sprint. It will be ok. Shake it off and work hard again this week. It will be Fine!! You look great! :-)

Debs Dealz
http://www.debsdealz.blogspot.com

Mommy Bags said...

Ok first of all you look fabu FU scalethey suck! My doctor says we pay way to much attention to the scale it is based how you feel and how your clothes fit. Also working out will do that it sucks. You are doing great :0)/ When I weighed in a WW one week and I gained 1.0 I flipped a disco but I went down a size in my clothes....Keep up the good work :0)

Myndee said...

Been there. I know exactly how you are feeling. I was trying to lose baby weight, was down a few lbs and working hard- that damn scale said I went UP 1.4lbs. I was seriously so upset I could not stay for the meeting! I didn't let it deter me, and went on to lose all the weight- then got pregnant again. I will be on this mission with you come january; well, February. You are doing great- keep it up!! Plus, you look pretty darn fantastic. Don't let the scale mess with your head too much. :)

Laura@Catharsis said...

Oh, crap. I know that feeling of gaining when you're so sure you've lost. I'm thinking it might be the muscle building you're doing working out. Seriously. This happened to me one year. I was working out and I got quite a bit of muscle tone and I actually gained weight, but I lost the jiggles. Think of it as a sign that your exercising is working!!!!

OutnumberedMama said...

Hopping by to say HI! I am your newest follower, and I hope you will stop over to return the favor! The Busy Woman's Guide to Surviving Motherhood

ImSoVintage said...

Well, first of all you look fabulous and secondly it is normal to vary a bit from day to day or even minute to minute. Thirdly, probably muscle. Fourthly, did I tell you that you look fabulous?

Happy new follower from the over 40 blog hop.
Laura
http://imsovintage.blogspot.com/

Rondi said...

Love the comic! LOL. Thanks for joining our Terrific Thursday Blog Hop. New Follower! :)

Mindie Hilton said...

I so have been there. I know you will get to where you want to be. I think you look amazing in your pic, love the outfit, you are beautiful.
I am a firm beliver never to get on a scale with any clothes on, yes not always possible but I seriously only weigh myself in the am before breakfast and nude, that way I know if the # is up or down, it's not my clothes or a big glass of water that I just drank. Keep up the good work at the gym. Thank you to for your kind words at Bacon Time, it means more then you know. Much love.

Mamalou said...

Hi...thanks for the follow and I am following back. Don't get discouraged cause I am right there with you except that with my medical issues, I gain weight from the meds, I gain weight because my knees are so bad that I can't exercise, the list goes on and on and on and it is a vicious circle. But I am with the ladies above, you look FABULOUS so don't get down on yourself (easier said than done, I know as we are all are our own worst critic).
Lisa
http://mamalousgems.blogspot.com/

The Southern Fried Bride said...

New follower from the blog hop!

Stephanie said...

Oh my gosh girl, you don't even look like you need to lose weight! You look amazing! Found your blog from your comment on my blog. Thanks for following, I am now your follower and will be stalking your blog until I'm all caught up!

Nicole said...

This just happened to me, and I can totally relate to your post! I found you when I was looking for a photo for my blog post about it. Check it out:

http://nicoleperriella.com/scale-helpful-tool-evil-foe/

Thanks for being so honest and keeping it real!