Tuesday, November 29, 2011

tanning booth confessions vol.5

day 86:
happy tuesday my bloggah’s!
so because i actually made it to the gym @ a decent hour today & tanned in a booth with brandy-new bulbs (
it’s the little things that blow my skirt up) i decided it was time to come clean & divulge some…

misadventures of a chunky goddess
<div align="center"><a href="http://chunkygoddess.blogspot.com/" title="misadventures of a chunky goddess" target="_blank"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wys9zSohkic/Tm4J93PL8FI/AAAAAAAAIEU/c_p27oUWSHA/s300/img0554tbc2.jpg" alt="misadventures of a chunky goddess" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

the random thoughts that permeate my sick twisted little brain whilst standing buck-ass naked in a tanning booth for the longest ten minutes of my life…

in situations like this you have no choice but to come clean and say it like it is…
so here goes – light a candle, chuck life the bird, and fess the fuck up!

i am becoming one of those oddballs gym people who stand in front of the mirror & flex their guns (
or mini pistols in my case). i don’t do it at the gym per say (that would require an intervention if i did) but i do it just about everywhere else. but in my defense – i have never had actual worked.my.ass.for.them muscles – so excuse me while i gloat a bit! and i am pretty sure if i ask brian one more time to feel my muscle he might divorce me even though we aren’t even married yet.

i haven’t taken my crockpot off the shelf, let alone cooked in it, in well over a month or better. so i may not crockpot like a mofo afterall…

i am truly flabbergasted how much i can eat now that i am avoiding the junkfood. it is amazing how many points+ i waste on crap food that does nothing to keep me satisfied let alone have any nutrional value. since taking the sweet tooth challenge (button & info on my side bar over there --> ) i feel like all i do is eat & i feel content – not bloated & weighed down! yeah it’s been kinda hard – but it is getting easier every single day & all i can say is thank gawd for the
green monster smoothie!

i do not get the fascination with taylor swift & find her extremily annoying – especially the babe in the woods act. c’mon honey – we all know you have banged half of hollywood – drop the innocent act already & lose the silly ringlets!
yeah, apparently i am a hater?

biotin works…

i am still stalling on the c25k – in my defense i have so much going on – but i also admit that if i really was committed i would be all over that shit.
running? why oh why do you elude me so?

so there ya have it – no shame in my game!
what do ya need to get off your ta-ta’s?!?!
spill it…
then cross your eyes, make the sign of the devil horns, and drink a double hail bloody mary and all is forgiven…

peace, l♥ve & margaritas bloggy peeps!


Ixy said...

I've never cared for Taylor Swift either...and I've been guilty of obsessive muscle-flexing too. Sadly that was 10 years ago...boo for fat arms!

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

i don't like Taylor Swift. I need to start the running too! Lazy is my excuse

Maren said...

I don't like Taylor Swift either. I find her very, very annoying.

And hey, if you have something to flex - do it!! I can't wait to start flexing :D :D

Biz said...

Thank you! I hate Taylor Swift too - her look, her music. I read an article that magazines aren't putting her on the cover anymore because the retail sales drop!

And I am freezing right now and the thought of being in a warm tanning booth sounds awesome! (even though I haven't been in one for 20+ years!)

Haven said...

Who is Taylor Swift?

Mommy Bags said...

I hate ht Taylor Swift...time to move on from her people. Flex away girl you totally deserve all the mirror time...Just don't let me catch you kissing your guns that would be scary.....

Anonymous said...

LOL!! Tanning Booth Confessions are the bomb. :-) Sister, you flex your mini pistols to your hearts content; you've earned that sweet right. I love your revelation regarding the no sweets/junk challenge. Too cool for school, that. Green Monster Smoothie? Must try that ASAP!

Masshole Mommy said...

1. IDK what it is about Taylor Swift that makes me want to throat punch her, but man, I do. She can't possibly be that sweet in real life....and I am sorry, I do NOT think she's cute at all. She looks like an alien to me and I don't get all the Taylor Swift excitement. Ok, I'll stop now.....

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