Saturday, December 31, 2011

a reflection on 2011: the year i got selfish!

day:118

so this is the dilly – 2011 started out like 2010 which started out like 2009 & so on & so on.
big ambitions & very little motivation.
i can sit here & list a bazillion reasons but ultimately i believe that my inability to be okay with putting myself 1st has been my downfall all along.
no really – hear me out.

this year my life, my health, my sanity, my relationships, & my overall well being were in jeopardy.
i hit a wall with so many things & was left feeling overwhelmed & defeated in just about every aspect of my life!
after years of trying to self-medicate with just about every form
(mainly food) possible -- i finally realized that i needed help with my depression & i needed to make that a priority.
i know it’s cliché but admitting ya got issues truly is the 1st step to recovery.
and girlfriend
(that be me) be drownin’ in her own shit & shit!

once i got over the depression hurdle that is when i had an epiphany – i cannot be the best mom, partner, friend, daughter, & human being until i am okay with ME. and i cannot be okay with ME until i make ME the top priority in my life over EVERYTHING else.
and I mean EVERYTHING -- kids, spouses, partners, friends, relatives, jobs, faith, commitments – all of it!
all those things you put ahead of yourself no matter what because you believe that is how to show your love & devotion, what is expected of you, makes you a better person, & we
(especially women) are taught that being selfish about ourselves is a bad thing.
and sorry kiddos but doing all of this will NOT EVER lead to true happiness.
life is too effin’ short to be unhappy – so i decided to be happy.
that’s when i kicked it into high gear & made some decisions that changed everything…
i left my job -- the work environment was toxic on so many levels & no amount of money is worth being miserable every single fucking day! could we afford it? helllll to the no! but i also couldn’t afford to loathe something so much that i wanted to punch something or someone hard. really hard!

and i rejoined weight watchers – i decided that i am worth the added expense, time, effort & energy it takes to truly commit to weight loss & getting fit.

just those two vital decisions & how they bettered my world transcended into other bigger/smaller decisions & actions that have made my life increasinly happy!
and when mama’s happy – EVERYONE is happy!
truly.

in 2012 – i plan to keep it rollin’ & continue on my current path. i will never be that girl again – the one who lets life come 1st .
i come 1st no matter what!
and anyone who doesn’t like it can kindly step to the left & fuck off.

peace, love, & toasts to a fuckin’ fabulous 2012!
xxoo
cyn

**** disclaimer – i am in NO WAY telling anyone to run out & quit their job or to do anything drastic for that matter. i am only relaying my life experiences & what changes helped me. and as always i recommend EVERYONE see their doctor before beginning ANY weight loss/diet/exercise regimen!

Friday, December 30, 2011

weigh-in vol.16

day 117:
tee gee eye eff blogdom!
wow can ya believe how fast this week has flown by?
wasn’t it just xmas eve & here we are on the cusp of new year’s eve.
eeesh time – slow up a bit!

so today was weigh-in/meeting & while i am doing what i do – i have indulged in a cookie or two
(or five) this past week – along with some chocolates that just JUMPED into my mouth – don’t ya hate when that happens?
anywho – i was a wee bit nervous. not that i felt like i had gained – i felt great actually – but being the weigh-in after xmas – who knows?
well, i lost 1.8lbs!
wow, just wow!
i have never lost weight around xmas.
never EVER!

last year i gained 7-8lbs in the month or so between thanksgiving & xmas – this year i lost 10.2lbs.
yeah, TEN effin’ pounds!

I am down a total of 23.2 lbs!
Yay!

honestly i owe it to a couple of things…
the sweet tooth challenge…
recommitting to veganism…
tracking every day, every morsel, no matter what!
and
daily
(yes, every single day) without fail exercise (my jillian michaels dvds) – even on xmas!

another coolio thing – we got a new meeting locale.
they closed down two locations & brought us all together is one brandy-new, bigger, modern, AWESOME location!
(right next door to trader joe’s i might add – s w o o n!)
thankfully i still have the same awesome leader – seems like everyone else got shuffled except for the friday morning & early afternoon meeting peeps.
phew because i flip-flop between the two depending on bri’s work schedule!
i would hate to have to switch leaders!

any of my other weight watcher junkies get a new center????
or are we just über blessed?

tomorrow night brian & i are actually heading out for new year’s eve – for the 1st time EVER together.
no really – we have never been out together for new year’s eve -- we have been pregnant or raising a baby – but now we are ready to rejoin the adult world for one evening.
we are going to my best gal’s house for a little soirree & we are happier than doo-dah about it!
we don’t get out much & never together – one of us is usually home with skylar – but my mom is babysitting – so look the fuck out 2012!

what are your plans for nye?
partyin’ down or on the down low?

well kiddos i gotta get off my ass – i gotta hot date with jillian & my dvd player!

don’t forget to link up!


misadventures of a chunky goddess

as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
that’s it – easy peasy!





peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander --- go check out my mama/photography blog
the purple goddess & follow along!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- vol.14

day 116:
thirsty thursday bloggers & welcome to…

misadventures of a chunky goddess

as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
rockin’ the hop button is always nice & i über appreciate all of you that do!
and if ya find a new blog that blows your skirt up – be sure to leave them a comment saying you are a new follower & tell them ya found them on *the no more muffin top* hop.
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

ps.
i love you all.
the comments you left me on my last post just made me smile – you get it & you get me!
yay!
sorry i didn’t reply personally – i am just so unorganized for time this week?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

the media sucks

day 114:
tuesday tidings bloggerhood!

so i have to make an observation…
(and a bitchfest too while i am at it)
xmas night – as in xmas not even being officially over – we were hangin’ out watching some random movie that wasn’t even xmas-y (that is a whole other rant for another time – how tv SUCKS @ xmas time now) & the fuckin’ media is already on our asses about losing weight for the new year.


they are a smart bunch those fuckin’ media types.
they know that the numero uno resolution for most americans will be to lose weight/get in shape. it’s been my numero uno for 20 years at least!
so sure as shit – there is a slimmer janet jackson with her soft melodic voice shoving nutri-system down our throats.
special k had ads out the whazoo…
i saw a couple for slimfast…
and let’s not forget my least favorite ad – mariah carey for jenny craig.
(oops i mean *jenny* as they are calling themselves nowadays in an effort to promote change & to be more “holistic with a simpler approach to dieting” -- their words – not mine)
i am sorry but mariah carey is so fucking annoying standing in her sheet/bandeau/whatever strategically wrapped around her seemingly thinner body whilst flippin’ her hair around. she used to be so awesome & somehow she became trashy & gross & she is the last person i would look to for any inspiration! and normally ANY woman willing to give childbirth a whirl around age 40 instantly gets my respect – but she has even made that experience trashy?
i will stop now…

i am not dissin’ these weight loss company’s just because I happen to love weight watchers
(because it works using REAL food & without deprivation) – if they help people get to a healthy weight in a healthy way – cool beans by me!
but if you think that i believe for a nano second that superstars like janet & mariah used nutri-system or jenny to get back into shape -- then ya got another thing coming!
they have a TEAM of people who make them who they are – and none of them are named jenny…
but that is neither here nor there.

my biggest grievance is the fact that xmas wasn’t even over & already the media is back in our brains picking away to ultimately pick our wallets!
because trust me – they don’t care if we are overweight & unhealthy – they just want our moola in one way or another.
and you know this WHOLE week will be flooded with these commericals!

i think losing weight, gaining health & getting fit SHOULD be a top priority & resolution if that is something you want.
but how you choose to do so is really very personal because we gotta get our heads in the right place before ever having any success no matter what method you use.
where are the ads for that?
everything is about ease, speed & efficiency – and sorry but those words do not exist in the realm of sustaining long term weight loss!
it is hard…
takes time…
and is never efficient – at least not for me – i gotta move heaven & earth some days to get my workouts in & to come up with new & interesting ways to eat healthy so i don’t die of food boredom!

sorry to go off on a huge tangent…
basically it irks me that getting healthy has become so commericalized like everything else in the world.
okay wait correction – i can handle the commericialization IF it were all valid.
we have so much ineffective measures & misleading information out there that it is no wonder we are progressively becoming a nation of obese people raising a generation of children who will undoubtedly be even more obese than us.

don’t believe the hype!
be informed…
consult your doctor…
and more importantly be realistic – if it sounds too good to be true – it is!

and ummm fuckin’ media types – let us digest one holiday before choking us with the next expenditure! xmas day/night should be – dare i say – sacred & off limits?
but that’s just my two
(okay maybe more like ten) cents!

any thoughts?
am i alone in thinking this?

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn
if ya’ll feel like takin’ a gander at my xmas photos & more --- go check out my mama/photography blog the purple goddess & follow along!

Monday, December 26, 2011

holiday survival 101

day 113:
happy *we-made-it-through-another-xmas* blogdom!
i hope your holiday was a fabu as mine.
santa was very good to us – but he always is!


(here i am @ xmas dinner)


i feel good about my eating – i ate what i wanted within the restrictions of being vegan – counted my points (i opted to track over the weekend in lieu of simply filling) – and other than a random cookie (okay those weren’t vegan – oops – but i am not gonna sweat one egg between 24 freakin’ cookies) – i was good.
oh and i did my shred-it workout– even on xmas.
so pffffft to gaining weight.
just not in my plans this year.

so i gotta share a NSV
(non scale victory)…
my mom bought me clothes for xmas this year – she always does & oddly even though our styles are on the polar opposite spectrum of one another – she usually picks out great stuff for me!
but i digress…

so she buys me an outfit & i am looking at it & the pants
(black cashmere boyfriend jeans that are to.die.for i might add) are a junior size 11!
up to this point i am fitting into jr. size 13’s & a random size 12 on a good day – so i told her she had way too much faith in me to buy me 11’s.
oh & a size medium shirt!
a medium!?!?!
i haven’t worn a medium or a size smaller than a 13 & the random 12 since jr. high school – no shit!
maybe even elementary school now that i think about it!

but do ya know they fit?!?!
i can wear 11’s & a size medium!
woa…

not only is this a NSV but an eye-opening moment for me.
i think when your weight has fluctuated from chunky to thick to big to fat your whole life since puberty it is really hard to wrap your head around the fact that you may slowly but surely becoming the not-so-chunky/thick/big/fat girl anymore.
but it is hard.
in my head i am NOT a size 11 & certainly not a medium -- i am still a 18/20 & XL/XXL…
but she also bought me two pairs of workout shorts with matching tees – ALL size medium & they ALL fit.
so it wasn’t some fluke…
woa…
it will probably take me some time to accept that i am doing this & the results of my hard work are starting to show in ways that even i cannot fathom.
bizarro & yet so fuckin’ cool!

so how is everyone?
how was your holiday?
lay it on me!
share your nsv’s & success stories – i love to hear them as they inspire me to stay on plan!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Friday, December 23, 2011

weigh-in vol.15 & 16 weeks

day 110:
merry xmas eve eve blogosphere!

so i had a blast last night!


good peeps & tons of laughs – i mean that’s what it’s all about.
and ya know how i swore up & down that i wouldn’t be drinking?
yeah epic fail on that.
BUT…
in my defense – it was at brian’s urging that i relax a little & have a drink if i wanted – so i did.
and i wanted a few!

i can be quite extreme – i am just an all or nothing kind of gal. but he is right – one night out with friends – something i rarely do – is not going to derail all my hard work.
BUT…
it took every bit of me not to raid the fridge when i got home last night & i was famished ALL day today.
pffffft!

but let’s get to my weigh-in.
i had a bad feeling about my weigh-in – not that i have had a bad week – i have stuck to my usual diet & exercising daily – but we went out to eat twice this week & then last night’s adventure.
so imagine my surprise when i lost .4lbs!
not a ginormous amount but a loss nonetheless & i will gladly take it!

this time of year i am content to maintain – so a loss is fan-fuckin-tabulous!

and i got this beauty today...
my 16 week charm!
i have been a weight watcher member & attending my meetings/weigh-in's faithfully for 16 weeks!
w00ts!

and why the big deal about 16 weeks?
well studies show that sticking it out for 16 weeks leads to further commitment & long-time success!
now that's what i'm talking about!

i haven't set any number related goals since i rejoined weight watchers 16 weeks ago EXCEPT to at least stick it out for 16 weeks & not miss a weigh-in and/or meeting no matter what!
i am super proud to say i did just that!

well that's all i got kiddos
– i gotta get hot & start wrapping all my gifts!
yeah; ALL my gifts!

yikes!

oh & don’t forget to link up:

misadventures of a chunky goddess

as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops! jump/hop/skip/whatever around & meet new peeps with kickass blogs! leave them a comment to say hi & that ya found them via the no more muffin top hop!
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn


Thursday, December 22, 2011

welcoming the light...

day 109:
merry winter solstice blogdom!
did ya know that today signifies the reversal of longer nights & shorter days?
so i ask you…
are you welcoming the light or saying goodbye to the darkness?

i am saying hello to the light!
i am *light*er after all… heh!

in all seriousness – i have given the darkness too much significance in my life – it is time to focus on the light!
so hello light – how the fuck are ya?

okay this is where i gotta show off my new goodies – so hang on…

i wanna take a second to thank jennifer from
finding my way in texas -- i won her very first giveaway a couple of weeks back & i received my winnings in the mail yesterday & oh good golly are they amazing.
my daughter lovesssss the hat – i mean it’s a ladybug & absolutely beautifully handmade – what is not to love?
the notebook cover (thanks for the bigger one jenn), necklace & headband are just too freakin’ cute & i am so happy to have won them – you rock balls jennifer!
please take a sec to check out her blog & etsy shop – where you can purchase any of these goodies among others!

and as if one cool package wasn’t enough – i got another from one of my oldest & dearest friends unexpectedly. inside it was this…
20+ years later & she still gets me – even from across the country!
it is perfect & i love it!
thanks marie xxoo!

well kiddos – i got things to do, peeps to see & places to go – oddly enough.
i am such a homebody so going out
(tonight is our yule celebration & then we are venturing out for a bit) even for a little while is a HUGE deal for me – and yeah – i am super stoked!
merry yule & i will say adios with the early posting of…

misadventures of a chunky goddess

i was gonna give the hop the weekend off with xmas & all – instead i decided to extend it from today until monday @ midnight.
as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops! jump/hop/skip/whatever around & meet new peeps with kickass blogs! leave them a comment to say hi & that ya found them via the no more muffin top hop!
that’s it – easy peasy!



peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

i will not crack under the pressure!

day 108:
hola mi bloggitas & bloggitos!

yeah i know i have been m.i.a for the past couple of days which is unlike me – we all know i love to gab on my blog.
but…
my gorgeous 2 ½ year old daughter has been extra demanding this week?



(i know you cannot believe it looking @ this adorable face huh?)
i dunno if it’s a 2 year old thing?
a girl thing?
or a it’s-almost-xmas-and-i-am-about-to-burst-with-excitement thing?
i am going with a combo of all three!
needless to say – miss thang is not having any of my time being spent on other frivalous things like cooking, laundry, bathing & blogging when i should be devoting my attention all to her all of the time.
i wish i were joking…
she freaked out last night because i left the room to go cook dinner & again when i went to pee without her.
we are officially conjoined twins now.
(she is happy doing crafts & she did NOT get that from me!)
i get it – i spend a lot of time with her & we are very close & she always wants to be doing what i am doing – but never to the point of FREAKING out like a maniac?
and it makes me feel bad.
she is so upset & all she wants is to be with me -- so i cave.
all fine & well – but it been really hard trying to do a day’s worth of stuff all in the evening after she goes to bed – on top of trying to get my workouts in. – and getting the sleep i need because she will be up @ 5-6am ready to do it all over again!
sighhhh…
when they say being a stay-at-home-parent is the hardest job in the world – they don’t lie! going to work 40 hours a week was a breeze compared to this.
i can do this… i can do this…
because i wouldn’t have it any other way & we have made many sacrifices so i could stay at home & be with her.
AND she wouldn’t be the vibrantly brilliant child that she is if i hadn’t!
(nothing against moms who work – don’t bombard my email or comment form with attitude – i worked my ass off when my boys were little because i had to & they turned out wonderful as well… )

so the countdown to the big day (xmas) is on!
(I ♥ nike & a nike santa rules!)
are ya’ll ready?
i have one gift card to buy, some grocery shopping & all of my wrappin’ left to do – but other than that i am good to go.
at this point – anything i don’t get done wasn’t meant to be!

tomorrow night i have a yule party to attend that one of the women in my
goddess group is hosting. our little group has been on hiatus through the holidays so it will be awesome to see my goddesses!
i suspect the cocktails will be flowing along with a bevy of munchie party-type foods – one of my many weaknesses i might add.
i am such a sucker for chips & dip & finger foods!
but i have a plan – no alcohol & i am bringing veggies & hummus -- & i am NOT veering from the plan.
it will be the first time ever that i have attended a party/event & not had at least one glass of wine. but one leads to two which leads to three which leads to a taco bell detour on the way home & we will not be going that route this year!
i have weigh-in on friday & i am not fucking it up the night before!

so a lot going on & it is effecting my eating. well not so much my actual eating -- i have been good but tempted more than usual – it could be the beginning stages of pms as well.
we went out to eat twice this week too – which i am sorry – is just hard.
i ate a little more than usual but at least my choices were good.

PLUS i am working out daily & i am still eating vegan & going strong!
so i don’t feel overly bad about a little over-indulgence.


BUT I WILL NOT CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE!

i am trying to come up with new & unusual ways to stay on track because my motto through the new year is this…
and nothing will detour me.
not xmas…
not a clingy toddler
(bless her little heart)…
not xmas gatherings with tons of booze & goodies to eat…
and certainly not pms!
what are your plans of survival for xmas?
are ya winging it & hoping for the best?
gotta plan to stay on track?
or just enjoying the day without a care in the world?
it is just one day after all…

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Sunday, December 18, 2011

lazy sunday with pinterest vol.7: i ♥ purple edition

day 105:
happy sluggish sunday & welcome to…


misadventures of a chunky goddess
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the “i ♥ purple” edition!

this is my homage to one of my most favorite addictions/past times – pinterest.
if you are pinhead like me – come find me!
Follow Me on Pinterest

i am a semi-recent edition to the *purple lovers” club. i have never really had a favorite color & then all of a sudden a few years ago – i had this obsession with purple.

(even my engagement ring is a non-traditional amethyst.)
i prefer more of a regal royal purple – but my heart swoons for all shades!
with that being said… let’s do this thang!

purple skinny jeans?
why i don’t mind if i do.
these just rock balls!
they are on sale too – click the link!
but shhhh… i bought the exact same pair in target today for $22.00!

express.com

purple – christian louboutin style…
oh my – purple suede & fringe??
s w o o n!
shoerazzi.com

everything about this shoe is perfection & i think there is nothing sexier than an ankle strap. especially a purple ankle strap!
uploaded by user with invalid link to shoegoddess.com

shoegasms galore!
shopsavannahs.com

sexyass cut with purple highlights – i could never pull this off but if i could…
uploaded by user via google.com

blackberry margarita -- a marriage of 2 things I ♥!
sweetlifebake.com

This is the perfect lpd
(little purple dress) soon to replace the lbd (little black dress)!
polyvore.com

the color purple – one of my favorite books and movies!
i cry every bloomin’ time i see it!
much l♥ve
imdb.com

lululemon purple gym bag!! need i say more?
shop.lululemon.com


even carrie bradshaw ♥’s purple…
(gotta feed my sex & the city obsession every now & again)
uploaded by user

harold & the purple crayon tattoos…
now that is some purple lovin’ dedication!
deviantart.com
applepiechucker.tumblr.com


purple succulents – MUST have!
uploaded by user

and just some inspiration/empowerment/info that just happens to have a purple background…





there ya have it – viola -- my homage to purple via my homage to pinterest!
i hope your sunday rocks balls!
mine will be spent finishing up the xmas shopping – just bri & i with NO KIDS!
holy schnikeys!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Friday, December 16, 2011

weigh-in vol.14 -- 10% bitches!

day 103:
tee gee eye freakin’ eff!
(i just love saying that – dunno why?)

so the weigh-in.
today was just craziness – as all friday’s seem to be lately?
skylar – my 2 ½ year old daughter -- had a check-up visit
(did ya know they do 2 ½ year visits now to do early detection/intervention for autism & developmental issues because they are so widespread now?) with her pediatrician this morning – so i had to race home to drop her & bri off – get my mom (she is also a weight watcher junkie – dunno if I have ever mentioned that?) & fly to our weight watcher meeting.
we made it right in the nick of time -- phew!
and boy oh boy am i glad i did because i…
(drum roll please)
lost 3lbs & for a total of 21 lbs gone & putting me 1 lb past my 10%!!
as in i have lost
10% of my body weight!
(link takes you to a ww page that list the benefits of losing just 10% of your body weight)
***does 10% skinnier nekkid cartwheels***
yeehaw mofos!
(here is my 10% keyring – purty ain’t it?)
i was hoping to be there before xmas & was quite stoked & surprised to make it a week early!
xmas has come early & i gotta smaller booty – JUST WHAT I WANTED!

so uhh yeah – pretty effin’ happy!
(sky & i -- i ♥ this photo & it amazes me how much less i don't mind having my picture taken these days... )
but moving along to some other stuff – cause i know ya’ll are just dying to know about my random shit…

so i was bitchin’ the other day about not really being totally in love with the shred-it with weights workout right?
well…
i decided to bump up to level 2 & man oh man!
jillian
(cause we are on a first name basis & all) warns you that you will *rue the day you bought this dvd* & she isn’t kidding. the difficulty between level 1 & 2 are like night & day.
but i loveeeeeeeeeeeee level 2!
it kicks ass, i love the kettlebell, i love that it is strength and cardio all in one, & i love that i have soreness in places i never fathomed could possibly hurt!
you will feel this one & you will be challenged !
this is the type of jillian workout i have come to love/hate!

also…
today marks the end of
the sweet tooth challenge -- wow!
i challenged myself to three weeks of no junkfood – cakes, cookies, chips, crackers, ice cream, candy , etc. & i am happy
(& kinda surprised) to say i stuck it out.
gotta admit that i thought i would cop out along the way – but i didn’t!
and brian took the challenge with me & stuck it out like a champ too!
we both agree that we feel so much better without a buncha processed crap & both of us lost weight – bri lost 4lbs
(not that he needed to) & I lost 8lbs -- yeah impressive to say the least!
i am amazed @ how much my *need* to snack has diminished. i am not saying i don’t snack – i do – but i make better choices & am trying to listen to my hunger signals.
we feel so good that we are extending this challenge @ least another week.
plus – the thought of putting something into my body that could even slightly make me feel like before repels me.
i feel too fucking good to let a oreo or a dorito knock me down!

well kiddos i am wiped & have yet to workout today – so gotta get a green smoothie down my gullet & my
(recently thinner) ass in my rockin’ purple saucony’s & do it up!

***this just in: apparently linkytools
(the site i use to do the hop) is being an asshole because the no more muffin top hop is closed? my apologies -- i checked the format & everything is correct so it must be something on their end??? carry on!***

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

no more muffin top weekend blog hop -- vol.13

day 103:
tee gee eye freakin’ eff!
and welcome to…


misadventures of a chunky goddess

as usual – no rules – link up whatever ya like – even giveaways & other hops!
rockin’ the hop button is always nice & i über appreciate all of you that do!
and if ya find a new blog that blows your skirt up – be sure to leave them a comment saying you are a new follower & tell them ya found them on *the no more muffin top* hop.
that’s it – easy peasy!

peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta the diem!
xxoo
cyn

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

ramble & rant

day 101:
happy humpity humps blog-o-zone!

so i had this thought of making a big ta-doo about hitting 100 days yesterday – but as you can see – that did not come to pass.
but at any rate – happy 100 days to me!

warning:
complete randomness ahead & if i repeat anything i mighta wrote about before – sorry; this time of year makes me loopy as fuck!

speaking of which: i think people are crazier than ever this year – i went out xmas shopping yesterday & came home with the intense need to down a six-pack
(i didn’t) & to punch something really hard (didn’t do that either).
i am usually the jolly elf but this year i feel like grumpy mcgrumpis!
so please random assholes out there in the world – steer clear of me with your *my life is way more important than yours so i must cut you off, run you down, & basically be an inconsiderate shit* attitude!
merry xmas!
next…
so i gotta come clean about something…
i am not in love with the shred-it with weights workout.
but jillian i still love you!
(i write my blog as if she is reading it -- heh)

the workout rocks & i am totally loving the kettlebell but i just don’t feel very challenged? not like i did with 30 day shred & ripped in 30…
i believe that if you workout & don’t sweat your balls off – you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough. and sadly this workout doesn’t make me sweat my balls off.
i am so disenchanted by the workout that last night i also did level 1 on 30 day shred to compensate for what i feel like is not my usual balls to the wall workouts.

but i am not a quitter – i am currently on level 1 & i think i will try level 2 & see if that is the challenge i need
(and crave). and if not i will make a decision where to go from there. i just worry that i am going in the wrong direction with my fitness. i want to continually push myself & i feel like i am regressing?
probably all in my little warped imagination – but i am just being honest about how i feel.
in all seriousness – anyone out there looking for a great strenght/cardio workout @ a moderate level – shred-it with weights is the way to go.
and you don’t need a kettlebell – you can use any light handweight
(3-8lbs).
it’s about 25 minutes (warm-up & cool down included) & i think just about anyone can find 25 minutes a day to workout…
just sayin…

moving along…
still going strong in the sweet tooth challenge – although friday is the last day that i committed to. but i am pushing on. i admit there are times when i crave something junkie – but i have held on & made healthier choices.

the misconception about this challenge is that i am restricting myself – not true at all. i eat plenty & snack at least twice a day. i am just making different choices with what i eat.
speaking of choices & eating.
switching back to a full vegan diet has been a breeze. but i feel better about it this time. i know i am ready to committ & it feels right.
i have also made a pledge to be more open & experimental with my vegan diet this time around.
i tried soy milk for the 1st time & i love it.
no really – I LOVE IT! i am not a milk person – never have been – and while i would never drink a glass of soy milk per say – it is amazing in cereal & makes oatmeal taste DIVINE!
i also tried
quinoa for the 1st time – LOVE IT TOO! it smells & looks really weird – but oh so yummy. sorta like cous cous but i liked the quinoa better & the health benefits are fabu!

i want my diet to consist of a mixture of different foods & not just be about stir-fried veggies, tofu & brown rice. although i do love that – no one can live on veggies, brown rice & tofu alone.

speaking of vegan – i found this freakin’ awesome blog/site via pinterest that i am totally all over --
beautiful-vegan.com.
loads of information & recipes – even non-vegans would like it!

i warned ya of randomness – so i am totally switching gears here.

i am about fed up with my knees.
i have written about the chronic pain i have had for 20+ years & while since taking off weight & making exercise a daily priority it has gotten overall better – it still hurts. and mainly while i am working out. and it pisses me off.
i am capable of physically doing so much more than my knees
(right one in particular) are allowing me to do.
and i am not talking about the muscle pull i had a few weeks back – i am talking about joint pain that lessons my ability to run, jump, squat, & lunge! all things i need to do in order to be in the physical shape i want to be in.
it is sooooo frustrating to know have the strength & endurance to do something that one part of your body is hindering you from doing!

i saw my doctor a month or so ago – she gave me solid advice which helped with the muscle pull
(new shoes, epsom salt soaks, stretching, etc.) – but none has helped with the joint pain & i am to the point that i want to address it & make it stop.

i admit fully that i want a quick fix
(cortisone shot please!) & to be on my merry way to the gym where i can run, jump, squat & lunge my way through a kickass workout!
so i am adding two cortisone shots on my xmas wishlist this year… heh!
(i say this like i am a doctor & know for sure that will fix what ails me – dontcha love self-diagnosis?)

well i think that about sums it up…
enough rambling & ranting for one day!


peace, l♥ve & carpe the fuck outta diem!
xxoo
cyn