Friday, September 9, 2011

five days in...


day 5:

so the end of day five approaches and i have really mixed emotions about how my first week is going so far.
but then again i always do.

the first week is the hardest.
duh, of course it is.
and even though i am super motivated it is still a struggle to end my shitty habits and to get back to a healthy frame of mind.
oh and let usnot forget mother nature and her need to make me a hormonal lunatic with a penchant for candy and well i am just not a happy camper.

but despite my whining i have hung in there –
i have measured, weighed, and tracked every morsel that has entered my trap.
i even tracked the blts (bites, licks, and tastes).
i still have plenty of weeklies – 39 or so at least -- i had a glass sangria earlier and we plan on firing up the bbq tomorrow night as well.
i have also earned plenty of ap’s (14+) despite a bum knee that is trying like hell to make me quit.
so all in all – while i may be moaning and groaning – i am in fact working it pretty damn well!

i think my major issue is truly the pms – seriously, i think after age 40 is should be a voluntary thing. something you take on willingly and only to get out of work, mowing the lawn, and/or annoying family functions.

and today should have been my comeback meeting at ww– but by the time brian (my hunny) got home (he works a wicked early morning shift) it was too late to make it there.

so i am focusing on the upcoming week so i can kick ass and have a great first weigh-in next friday and be pumped for my meeting as well.
i have missed my meetings and most of all my leader tricia who is just wonderous!

and another thought that has been cruising around my brain the past few days…
i am seriously thinking of going back to eating 100% vegetarian again. it has only been a few weeks and honestly i do still eat primarily a plant based diet – but i have fully let veganism hit the curb.
and there again – i resist dairy way more than i eat it – but i have allowed myself a lot of leniency and flexibility these past 6-8 weeks while i focused on getting my head straight.

i was diagnosed with depression and have been getting adjusted to wellbutrin for the past two months. it has been an transition but overall a positive experience. i feel more able to cope and have had an immense sense of clarity in reconigizing toxic situations and people that i needed to weed out of my life.

i feel better than i have in years and like i said, i am so ready to weed out negativity and focus on what i need to do to make me better in mind, body and soul.
ya gotta improve from the inside out after all.
i got the inside in a much better place – let’s see if we can renovated the outside a bit?

i feel like i am on a great path in so many ways and it feels good to be me again.
so take that mother nature and your effin’ pms!

take a minute and love yourself today -- you know you need a hug!
cyn


8 comments:

Ali's Answers said...

Good luck. I have to start towards a healthier life. I have have been lazy for too long!
:)
Ali
I knew I liked you when I saw you saved points for sangria! My kind of girl! :)

mmbear said...

You are too funny! But seriously, I wish you lots of Luck! I used to be thin but after being disabled since 2005 and two replaced knees later, it is starting to catch up with me. I try the best I can and sometimes that is not enough but I do what I can. I am a new follower thru GFC and Facebook and would love a follow back when you get a chance. Thanks so much and have a super weekend!

Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

Ciao Mama's said...

Good luck girl. I did ww after I had my first child at 40 (41 now}and with that and gym everyday I lost all the bb weight and and additional 20 now I am working on the other 20 which is the biggest pain in the ass EVER.I used to save my point for wine and you know what PMS just sucks. New follower from the blog hop would love it if you came over and checked out my site.
http://mommybags.blogspot.com

Just Another Mom of Twins said...

Clicked over from Laura's blog and so happy I did...I need to get off my arse and start WW again! I hope to follow along...

:)

Erin said...

Found you on the weekend blog hop. Enjoyed your site. I am now following your blog. I hope that you can check me out at www.indianacouponsavings and follow me too. Thanks!

Tania B said...

I LUV this blog! I will be subscribing for sure. I too am a chunky goddess sister and I feel your pain in trying to lose weight and exercise. Blech. It really puts a cramp in my style when I hate exercise! Hi! I am a new follower from the Spicey Weekend Hop. Please feel free to follow me back or drop by anytime!

http://contestsformoi.blogspot.com/

Tania

Lisa Kaye said...

I am way too familiar with the whole hormonal eating thing. Last week I was craving carbs like crazy. Thanks for helping me laugh away my craziness.

Luke said...

Wow, that's one tough question.
And as Steve Jobs once said. Our time is limited, let's not waste it.

Luke @ Textbooks